Dreading the meeting with my old bestie

My name is Rossa and I am in my forties now. I am earning well and still single. You would think that is very interesting but trust me it's not. For my family and friends I am wasting my life running around building a fortune for nobody to enjoy after I am gone. And also as per them, I have wasted all my fertile cells, but still they, being my well wishers, are consistent in their search for a suitable match for me. I may have turned into a barren land but as per them I need a partner to sail through my more elderly days. This pretty much sums up my life. Now, with that derogatory introduction of mine, I may not seem pretty interesting to you. I do not want to drag you down to my not so very exciting life story.

Few days back, I got a call from one of my girl friends from college days. She is visiting the town and wants to meet me. And you know what, the meeting is tomorrow. We have not met for ages now. I am unable to tell you that I am feeling like my stomach is tied up in knots. I don't know what shall I wear. I feel like I am a teenager and anticipating my first date. I don't know if you can relate to what I am feeling. She was a beauty those days and am sure she would still be breathtakingly beautiful now also. Why not? She had been married to the love of her life for more than fifteen years by now and might have had one or two beautiful kids. We had lost touch after college.

Well, I may seem stupid to you but maybe I had been a little jealous of her. She had tried many a times contacting me but I had locked myself into a shell. What could I have done? She was getting married to the person whom I had loved. I could not tell any body about it though. Yes, I know I had been a fool. Look at me, the plain Jane type, who would have loved me? Anita was a bombshell in college, she was my room mate and best buddy too. She was every guys' dream girl. On the first day of college, I had seen this guy, Sourav. He looked like a God. He was some sort of a sunshine with a killer smile. I used to swoon every time he entered the class room, smiled at me, or talked to me. I was aware that since I was Anita's friend, he would obviously smile at me and talk to me. I used to cover my feelings under my glasses. I was not the kind of a girl, guys would look a second time. But still in my fantasies, I used to think he would fall in love with me some day. When Sourav and Anita had announced to every one that they were going to be a couple, I had congratulated them. I had cried my heart out in the wash room that day, but still a little voice inside me had misled me to hope that one day Sourav would be able to see the inner beauty rather than the outer appearance and blah blah. I can laugh at my naivety now and I can relate this to my childish behavior. 

That was no fault of Anita though and I clearly remember the girl was head over heels in love with Sourav. That is also one of the reasons, I could never share my feelings for him with her. I cannot blame Sourav either. At that point of time though, when they got married after college, I had felt cheated by my destiny but could not face both Sourav and Anita. I had not attended their wedding and had managed to keep a safe distance until now. A thought just stuck me, what if Sourav also comes with Anita tomorrow. She might not have informed me about his coming due to obvious reasons. Husbands and wives anyways come as a package. All of a sudden, I felt butterflies in my stomach as if I am a school girl.

Please do not get me wrong and think that I am still pining over Sourav and trust me he is surely not the reason for my not being married till date. Over the years, I have outgrown my infatuation towards him and after all he is my best friend's husband now. My current situation or my so called independence or as per my family's opinion, my man hater behavior is altogether for different reasons or circumstances. We will talk about it some other time. I may be ordinary looking but I am more confident now and I definitely know how to carry my weight around nowadays. I finally zeroed in on a presentable outfit for my meeting tomorrow and I am all set to meet Anita after almost seventeen years.

Meeting Day - 7th of August 2025, 4PM - I am waiting from last ten to fifteen minutes in a cafe for Anita. My eyes are searching for a beautiful lady to arrive any moment now while working on my latest article in my ipad. I finally hear a soft voice calling my name, "Hi, Rossa. Had been ages it seems. How are you, girl?" I turn around to find a smiling wrinkled face with grey unruly hairs.  She looked around ten years elder than me. Before I could recover from my shock, she hugs me tightly and I quickly forget my reserve and acknowledge her warmth after so many years. We fall back onto the chairs and take a long breath looking at each other. She exclaims first, "Rossa, you are still so young and beautiful. Look at me, I have grown so old." I could simply say, "How are you?" 

She replied, "I missed you so much, Rossa". I felt like guilt is going to kill me any time now. I just said, "I missed you too". We gave our orders to the waiter and I finally asked, "So tell me, how is Sourav? How many kids do you people have?". She gave me a very pale look, "Oh Rossa, you do not know. How, I missed talking to you  and had craved for your shoulders during my crisis" I was taken aback, I had to ask, "Why? What had happened?" 

"We are separated now. We are divorced since five years now. My marriage was a disaster, Rossa, I could not take it any more". I was speechless. "He used to go to other women, Rossa. I have a son, Arnav, Sourav never had any interest in his own child. And after the divorce, he never even bothered to meet his son even once. So,I am kind of bringing up my son alone. It hurts me to see Arnav coming to terms with it, after all the kid wants his dad to be around." I was dumbfounded to hear about such a shade of Sourav, he turns out to be such a shallow person. I felt like someone is splashing ice cold water on my face. She looked at my appalled and forlorn face and commented, "Don't look so upset, Rossa. I have come out of that sad episode of my life and I am happy now." I could not say anything, I was just trying to figure out how to make amends to overcome this sense of guilt I am feeling right now for not being there for her during that time. 

Fairer Gender on Top

Fairer Gender on Top

I had been quite busy for some time and was doing a lot of running around the clock, or, you can say I was slogging around the clock. I thought of flexing my fingers today for a change. This write-up had been on my list from some time now. Let’s focus on our Fairer Gender of today.

Our society actually goes taboo over this fairer gender business. And, my heading ‘Fairer Gender on Top’ would definitely put me under the radar of our moral police. But I believe I need to take it off my chest before I explode. Let me provoke someone else too.

It seems life has been fair for this protagonist of mine. Birth was a happy event and was celebrated with extravagance. Everybody in the family would swoon over every whim and tantrum. So it was expected that all devotion should be bestowed upon my protagonist. Time flies from an infant to a toddler, to a teenager, to an adult but life seems a smoother roller-coaster ride for this gender.

When you screamed, went out at odd hours, were partying like an animal, or, were involved in a bull fight, your family freaked out a little but nobody fainted for sure. No eyebrows were raised when you stayed late outside. No moral police were behind you to check what you were wearing. And, you never were scared of displaying your photos in social media.

Nobody pointed a finger on you when you used to throw your things around, like dirty socks, shirt, etc. Someone would be there to pick it up for you. It was not required for you to learn cooking or help your mother in the kitchen because you were not required to get ready for marriage every moment and you were most definitely not required to comprehend what will happen after your marriage if you don’t know this or what will your in-laws’ say if you do this. And, of course you were never apprehensive of your face or skin color.

Ever after you got married, it was okay for you to sleep a little longer, sit in the couch and continue reading the newspaper or watch the game when your cup of coffee is being brewed or someone is sweating over the fire to serve you a healthy meal. You had helped many a times when you wanted to and got all the compliments and appreciation for being a good caring and understanding spouse. If you take care of your own child, you are branded as the most wonderful parent and you deserve all the praises as if you have come from Mars.

If you stay late in Office, you are a hard worker. If you leave office early, you are a family person and are taking care of your personal commitments along with your official engagements. You are not stared at when you visit a market or when you are wandering in the streets. If you say something of substance, or argue with someone who has wronged you, nobody asks you to keep quiet. So, be it at home, office, society or social network, this fairer gender has always been on top.

I know you were intrigued by the title when you started reading my write-up to flip through some juicy stuff. I hope some of you are not disappointed though. For the rest of the readers, some other time buddy. You are most welcome to criticize and throw my write-up in the bin, but, please don’t categorize my write-up as one another feminist move.