Waiting for Green Button - I am Online

“Hi”

“Hello, do I know you?”

“My name is Tiger”

“Is that your real name?”

“If it is Jackie Shroff’s son, you wouldn’t ask him this question. Why are you asking me?”

“But you are not Tiger Shroff”

“Maybe I am”

“Oh come on…. But seriously, what is your real name?”

“I told you, my name is Tiger”

“OK… I give up. So Tiger, what do you do?”

                I bet everyone today of my generation can relate to the above lines.  We like to fantasize and live in a virtual world rather than our real world. Reema is also from the same cult, so what’s the big deal?

                Reema is a beautiful name with a beautiful face. So, it is quite natural her online profile gets so many likes, comments and friendship requests. Even if she posts that she has flu on her page, she gets thousands of likes and comments and prayers for her speedy recovery.

                Anurag, Vasu and Rajesh are as usual at their favorite cafe near their college. Results of fifth semester were out today. Rajesh is gloating at his 8 points as always and our five-point-someone; Anurag is again worried about what his father would say.  Our easy going chap Vasu is cool with his 6 or maybe 7 points. They are waiting for Suma and Devika. They join them after some time. Devika, Vasu and Anurag were friends from their school days. Rajesh and Suma had joined their gang when they had started college. Nevertheless, these five were buddies. They take a selfie and post the pic with the status “Fifth Sem Results Out – Mixed Feelings”.  Within ten minutes, 56 likes come with 25 comments. World is moving really fast, isn’t it?

                On the way home, Devika notices that Vasu is not talking much today. He is listening to her chit chats but he seems distant. These two stay nearby and usually come and go together to and from college. Devika asks him why he is silent today, his results were okay. Vasu shrugs off and tells her she is imagining things.

                When Devika reaches home, she immediately sends a text message to Suma to come online. Suma and Devika discuss about Vasu’s behavior and decide to call Anurag and Rajesh. Anurag, Rajesh, Suma and Devika all start chatting online and come to a conclusion that they should talk to Vasu together the next day. Anurag suddenly remembers that Vasu had told him about some girl with whom he is chatting nowadays and might have fallen for her. How could he keep secrets from the Gang? So the gang decides to confront Vasu the next day for sure.

             Next day at the cafeteria after the 4 PM lecture, the three guys are waiting for the girls to join them. They order Samosa for the three of them. They know the girls would rather die than eat the fattening samosas. The girls arrive with an announcement that they are going to bunk classes the next day as Salman Khan’s movie is releasing. Rajesh and Anurag jumps with joy as Friday is already here, and they also agree to come along. Rajesh tells, “Hey, we can go to the multiplex theatre near my place, I will buy 5 tickets for the 11 AM show and you guys please be on time. OK?” Everyone agrees, but after a few minutes, Vasu says, “Hey guys, I just remembered that I have some pending work tomorrow. So, you guys carry on. I will join you guys some other time.” Hearing that, everyone else looks at him squarely and confronts Vasu about his pending work. Vasu feels like he is a lone prisoner of war at that point of time. Devika, Rajesh and Suma, asks him together, “we got to know that you are hiding something from us. So, who is this girl you are chatting with nowadays?” Vasu stares hard at Anurag, but Anurag looks away. Devika asks him more forcefully, “tell us who is this girl, you are going out with”. Vasu says, “Guys, it’s just the initial days. I have been chatting with her from sometime”. Anurag asks, “So when did you guys meet?” Vasu gives him one harder look this time, but replies, “we met on Facebook five months ago“. To that everyone shouts in unison and accusation, “Five Months? And, you didn’t tell us”. Vasu answers them sheepishly, “I was going to”.  Suma asks, “What’s her name?” Vasu looks forlorn but knows that his friends were not going to let him go unless he gives them all the information they need. He replies, “Her name is Reema”.

“When will you introduce her with us? Show us her Facebook profile. We would like to meet her.” 

“I haven’t met her yet in person.”

“So you have never gone on a date.”

“No.”

“What is her mobile number?”

“I don’t know. She has not yet shared hers. Guys, maybe she needs more time.”

“What about you?”

“I have been hit hard guys. It’s real for me.”

A hooting sound in unison and Vasu becomes all red faced.

“Ok, ok, show us her Facebook profile.”

“Guys, this is Reema.”

               Devika and Suma approves of Reema’s profile, “Wow, such a pretty girl”. Rajesh agrees but Anurag looks a little doubtful, “her face looks familiar”. Suma scolds him, “Yeah Fatso, you know all the girls”. Hearing that, Anurag makes faces at her. The friends then depart for their respective places with the promise to meet at the theatre tomorrow.  

At the theatre the next day, four friends meet. It was a Salman Khan movie, so huge crowd had gathered and it seemed everyone had bunked classes from their colleges. After the movie, all four of them decided to go for lunch at the nearby Kabab center. Anurag again points out that Reema’s face seem familiar to him. Devika, Suma and Rajesh ignore him and concentrate on their chicken biryani. But Anurag again try to hold their attention, “Guys, you are not paying attention, that profile pic Vasu showed us yesterday seem unreal”. To that, Suma asks him, “So you mean to say, Vasu is lying”.  Anurag replies, “No, I don’t mean that. But I guess that girl is fake“.  The other three stop eating and stares at him as if he has gone mad. “Seriously guys, I mean it. The profile looks fake to me”. Rajesh asks him, “How can you say that”? Anurag replies, “I checked her profile last night, apart from a display pic, she doesn’t have any pictures, like of her family, friends, etc.  She has more than 1000 friends in her profile“. “So what, many people do not like to post their pics online and it doesn’t mean you cannot have more friends. And she is such a pretty girl, she might be getting many friend requests”. “Exactly, my point. If she doesn’t like to post pictures why has she put her picture in the display profile when she knows people will send her friend requests looking at her pic”? Devika and Rajesh look cautious now but Suma still is unconvinced, “Anu, I think you are imagining things”. Anurag replies, “My gut feeling is telling me that the girl is not real and if that is the case, we need to save our friend before he is too deep in that shit”.  Everyone look so torn now with conflicting emotions that the fun about the movie is all forgotten.  

Next day, Vasu doesn’t come to college. So naturally his friends get more worried about him. They decide to visit his place on Sunday and decide that they would ask him to be cautious. They hope that Vasu doesn’t misunderstand them and their good intentions. They are sad for their friend. All four attend college and go home with a heavy heart that day.  

When they visit Vasu on Sunday at his place, they find him with puffy eyes as if he had flu or he had wept the whole night. Vasu’s mother informs them that he had not taken his food the whole of yesterday and he had been upset about something. She is happy that they have come for a visit today. Anyway she is going to prepare Chettinad Chicken curry, so she asks them to stay for lunch also. Vasu might also eat in their company. All four look at Vasu. Vasu shrugs and asks them to come to his room.

Once inside his room, Vasu is bombarded with questions. “Why didn’t you come to college yesterday”? “What has happened to you”? “Why haven’t you eaten anything”? “Why are you looking so pale and ill”?

“Guys, it’s over between me and Reema”. All four stare at Vasu and shouts in unison, “WHAT”? Vasu sniffs as if he is still weeping, and says, “Yeah, she said, she never loved me, and she had always considered me as her friend. All these months, I made a fool of myself”.  Vasu runs to the wash room saying, “Guys excuse me for a moment please”. Other four looked at each other with disbelief. All of them heave a sigh of relief and start smiling at each other. 

Breaking the Marriage Vows

Radha is watching the kids playing in the park near her apartment through her balcony. She is deep into her thoughts. She is agonizing over her broken marriage and trying hard to comprehend the enigma of her broken relationship.  Radha is unable to understand what went wrong. Theirs was a marriage which was solemnized with utmost care between two prominent Brahmin families. Their horoscopes were also matched and they were told that theirs was an excellent match as 32 out of 36 gunas were compatible. She bore him two children and had a marriage like any other couple of their age for the last nineteen years.

There were problems but she had always believed between Narayan and her, they would be able to manage. Narayan had mentioned he was not happy in their marriage, neither was she. But for the sake of her children, she had thought they would pull it through. She was hurt when Narayan had told her about his relationship with another woman. She had quarreled with him and had threatened him that she would take away his children from him. But she had understood that there was no point continuing a relationship when he had made up his mind.   So, when Narayan had announced his decision of getting a divorce and remarry, she had agreed. One year has passed by. Their divorce proceedings are going on.

It was not easy to make her daughters understand in the beginning. Nishi was only eleven and Vidhi was a difficult teenager, sixteen years old. They had gone abroad when Nishi was just one year old and Vidhi was six. They had come back to India two years back. Both girls were brought up in a foreign land with western influence and they were familiar with broken marriages, divorces, broken families, etc. But still anybody can understand that they were heartbroken. Their ideal family is also not perfect after all.

Nishi and Vidhi vehemently opposed their parents’ decision of getting a divorce. Both had become hostile.  Vidhi wanted to run away and Nishi had turned hysterical about the whole idea. Radha managed to bring equilibrium somehow with help from counsellors. Nishi and Vidhi finally came to terms with the whole situation but with reservations.  Radha knows that Vidhi still blames her for their broken family.

Narayan doesn’t want the custody of their daughters but would like to have visitation rights. His fiancée doesn’t want children but is okay with Nishi and Vidhi spending time with their father. So, Narayan has taken the girls to meet his fiancée today. Radha still doesn’t want to know her or call her name. She knows that she has to meet her sometime. Their divorce would be final by next month and Narayan would remarry by December. Radha has to find her composure by that time. She has to be there for her daughters.

Radha is unable to come to terms with her surroundings and her conservative relatives also who were blaming her for their failed marriage. She doesn’t understand why they were incapable of seeing that Narayan is involved in adultery not her.  Her mother-in-law had been unhappy with her as Narayan was her only son and Radha could not bear her a grandson. Then why is she okay with the idea that Narayan’s new fiancée doesn’t want to have children of her own? Her mother-in-law had blamed her for improper upbringing of her daughters when Vidhi had announced she has a boyfriend. But now she is ready to welcome her new daughter-in-law who is from a different caste and religion altogether.

What could Radha say about her own parents? Her parents and brother had asked her, “Why don’t you try to save your own marriage”? When she replied that she did whatever she could, she was blamed for not trying harder. They are still sulking.

Radha wished she could turn back the clock and could refuse getting married to Narayan. However, she loves Vidhi and Nishi and they are the best part of her marriage with Narayan, still she wants them to disappear. She wants to be free. But she knows that she would not be allowed to do so, she would be blamed for being selfish.

A loud cry jolts her back from her thoughts. She turns to find out that a boy has shoved a girl for not passing the ball to him. In a jiffy the girl gets up, hits him back and shouts, “Do not push me. You will get the ball when it’s your turn”. A smile touches Radha’s lips. She spots a lady scolding her daughter, “Tanu, share your cycle with your younger brother”, to which the girl replies, “I don’t want to and I won’t”.  Radha flinches at the blunt reply. She hears the giggles of a toddler playing with a puppy and heaves a deep sigh. The girls will be back for dinner, so it's time for her to head to the kitchen.

A day from her diary..

It was near quarter to five in the morning, when Nisha opened her eyes and checked the wall clock. She smiled to herself as she was quite relieved to see that she has fifteen more minutes to continue her sleep. She closed her eyes forcefully. A dim light was filtering through the window curtain, she realized it is still dark outside. She heard a small whimper from nearby, without opening her eyes, she patted the little bundle beside her and the baby went back to sleep. She recalled that today from 6AM, there would be a power failure for 2 hours. She reminded herself that she has to turn on the water heater first thing when she wakes up. She has to start the washing machine also after that so that all those piled up dirty clothes are washed before the power failure.

She has to send the presentation which she had finished last night to her manager and hopes that internet is working and network is available now in the morning. Last night at the last minute, network was lost. And she hopes she would not be late for the morning meeting today. She is really embarassed giving excuses for her late coming every other day. At that very moment, her mobile phone started making sounds that jolted her out of the bed. She has to turn off that alarm before it disturbs her sleeping family. 

She turned off the alarm and checked if anyone woke up because of the noise. She was relieved that nobody even turned. She started with her morning chores. After loading the washing machine, she came to check the calendar and was excited to see that it was a Friday. She can sleep more on the weekend. She suddenly recalled that her daughter needs to wear her white uniform today. She ran to check if the uniform is in presentable condition and was horrified to see a stain. Thankfully the stain remover bottle was not empty, she dabbed a little liquid into the stained area, waited for the stain to disappear and then ironed the dress. By the time she was ready with the breakfast and lunch boxes for herself, her husband and her daughter, her maid arrived. It was an ordeal to keep an eye on her maid as that lady tends to forget and skip places to clean. Nisha went on with her rest of the work alongwith.

Her baby boy would go to the day care so she packed extra clothes, diapers, his toys, blanket, his food items and kept a note about the items packed and timetable for his feeds. At seven, she woke her daughter up who didn't want to wake up. Nisha, too, hated waking up her little sleeping beauty but the school bus would not understand that. She made her daughter ready and eat her breakfast by 8AM, when she heard the bus driver honking at the gate. Nisha carried the school bag and caught her daughter's hand and ran to the gate. Thankfully, they didn't miss the bus. 

Fortunately that day the Ayah came on time and gave bath to the baby so Nisha could get ready quickly. By the same time, her husband also woke up and got ready. They left home by nine and after leaving the baby at the day care on the way, Nisha reached office by 10:15 AM, that was fifteen minutes before her morning meeting. Her teammate asked her how did she manage to come early today. Nisha gave her colleague a smile and started her work day. Around 11:30 AM, while the meeting was still going on, she was emabarassed to hear her mobile phone ringing with reminders to pay electricity bill, phone bills and internet bills. But still she was gratefull to the modern technology for she could pay the bills online. She got a text message that the gas cylinder booking that she had made on Monday has been cancelled, so she made a note and set a reminder for Saturday to do a follow up on that.

At 3 PM, her neighbor aunty called her that her daughter, Shruti had not yet arrived from school. Shruti generally arrives by 2:45PM and goes to the neighbor's place where that aunty took care of her till Nisha and her husband are back home. Hearing that a cold sweat ran through her spine, she made a call to the school and got to know that the school buses have left at their usual time and her daughter has also left school. She tried to call her husband but he didn't pick up and sent her a text message that he was busy in some meeting. She dialed the bus driver's number but he also didn't pick up. Nisha was close to tears when her savior neighbor called again to inform Nisha that her daughter has arrived and the bus was late due to some road blocks. Nisha heaved a sigh of relief and at the same time the bus driver also called her to tell her the same. All that sorted out, Nisha went for a coffee break.

At 4 PM, her manager called her to know if she could go attend some conference next week for 2 days at Hyderabad. Nisha told him it would be difficult for her for which he remarked that Nisha should be open to take up more responsibilities at work. Nisha was asked to prepare some documents and come for a review meeting at 6 PM the same day. While she was preparing the documents with due concentration, her nearby teammate remarked that ladies are very good in documenting and all the technical staff should be left to all male employees. Nisha kept quite but it was on tip of her tongue  to answer back that the last task (the so called technical staff) that was assigned to him which he had left it pending for almost a month was assigned to her at the last minute and she had to finish it within a week.

Around 5 PM she gets a call from her husband and when she picks up her husband barks at her for her mobile being not reachable from long time. He informs her that he got a call from the day care that their baby has a temperature and he has not slept for a single minute the whole day. So, her husband asks her to go pick up the baby by 6 and go home by bus or a cab. When she informs him that she would not be able to leave by 6 and moreover, she has no cash with her today to catch a bus or a cab, her husband remarks, "Of course, you have money only to spend in a salon" and drops the call. She was aghast by his remark as she had last visited a salon three or four months back.

By 6:30 that evening, Nisha finishes her day at work and rushes to the day care to pick up her son. He was overjoyed to see his mother and seeing his excitement and smile, Nisha forgot what a busy day she had at work. She checked for his packed things and enquired about his feedings, diaper and dress changes, etc. She was advised by the day care facility to come early to pick up her son. Around seven her husband came from his office to pick them up from the day care and they left for their home. In the meantime, she got several calls from her neighbor asking about when they would reach home as their daughter was becoming restless.

Today her son was also cranky on the way home and her husband complained that he had a busy and tiring day and she should at least try to keep the baby quiet while he is driving. After sometime her husband received a call from his mother, since he was driving he directed it to Nisha. When she told her mother-in-law that they have not yet reached home, her mother-in-law complained,"You have not yet reached home, Shruti is all alone at home. I also brought up two kids. I used to wake up by 5 in the morning and whole day used to take care of the household but I never left my kids at day care or with a neighbor. Do take care from next time." Nisha was speechless. Her mother-in-law then added, "By the way I had called to remind you that next week when your salary comes, send two thousand to your sister-in-law this time so that she can buy a nice Saree for her birthday. She doesn't get time for shopping also nowadays because of the little baby and whole day she needs to take care of the house. And also do not forget to send the pocket money for your brother-in-law. You should send him some extra this time as his exams are coming near and he would not be eating well." Before Nisha could reply anything, the call was dropped.

They reached home by 8 PM and Nisha started preparing for dinner. Her husband informed that he had some calls to attend to so he should not be disturbed and went to the study. Shruti gave account of what all she had done that day to her mother. Nisha fed the baby and made him to sleep and after that she made sure that fussy eater Shruti also finishes her plate and goes to bed after brushing her teeth. Around 10 PM both husband and wife sat for dinner. During dinner her husband informs her that next week he is going for a team outing to Coonoor and enquires if she could manage alone for two days.

After dinner, while her husband was watching the business and news channel, she stacked the soiled dishes and bowls and other utensils in the sink and washed the lunch boxes and feeding bottles. She picked up the scattered clothes and toys of her kids and checked upon her sleeping babies. She then arranged the clothes, bags, kept the mobile phones for charging, arranged Shruti's books and notebooks and finally sat on a sofa in the living room at 11. She asked her husband to turn on some music channel to which she got the remote grudginly, "we men never get to watch TV, when you women are so busy watching the soaps". Nisha could not understand which soap does she watch and where is the time. He also commented that she should join the gym as her waistline is increasing. When she answered that she has no time in the morning, he suggested she go to gym in evening. Nisha replied, "Yeah, sure".

By half past 11, her eyes were drooping so she goes to bed where her whole family is sleeping, finds a place and lies down. It was a complete bliss. Tomorrow is a Saturday and Nisha was happy that she would be able to sleep for one more hour.

You are a brave girl!

Mrs. Khanna came to visit Mrs. Gupta today afternoon and over a hot cup of tea she poured her heart out on the topic boiling inside her since morning. Mrs. Khanna asked Mrs. Gupta, “Do you know about Dr. Desai’s daughter, Anita?” “What happened to her?” “She got divorced. During our morning walk today, Mrs. Desai told me that Anita has left her husband for good and has come back home”. “Oh, so sad. But why did she leave her husband?” To that Mrs. Khanna meticulously replied, “No, no, you didn’t understand. Why would she leave her husband and come home?  You know how these working women of today. Who knows, she might have been involved in some extra-marital affairs. He might have divorced her for that.” Mrs. Gupta’s eyes twinkled on that enlightening.

Dr. Desai had passed away three years ago. He was a reputed doctor of that area. Mrs. Desai acted as an iron lady whenever it had come to managing the house without her husband and marrying off her youngest daughter Meera last year. All her three daughters were married and had a good life. All of them were educated and were earning handsomely too. But when her eldest daughter Anita knocked at her door three days ago and told her that she has left Navit for good, Mrs. Desai got worried. The protective mother inside her was not letting her sleep. She keeps thinking who would look after Anita after her.

Dr. Raghav Desai’s elder sister, Durga, who used to stay nearby knocked at the door. Seema, the maid, opened the door. As soon as Durga marched in, she shouted, “Manorama, where are you?” Mrs. Desai comes out to the living room and touches Durga’s feet. “What am I hearing, Manorama? Anita got divorced and left her home. Is that right?” Mrs. Desai softly answered, “No Didi, Anita and Navit have decided to get separated and divorce procedure is going on”. Durga asked, “Where is she now? Did she discuss with you before taking this decision?” Mrs. Desai replied that Anita hadn’t spoken to her before deciding. “What has happened to this generation? Have they forgotten to respect their elders? Where is she by the way?” Before Mrs. Desai could answer, Anita walks into the room. Anita asks while touching Durga’s feet, “Are you looking for me, Buwa?” Durga heaves a sigh and asks Anita, “Why did you leave your husband? And before taking this step, why didn’t you discuss with us? You had married for love, now what happened suddenly?” Anita tells her aunt that she thinks she has taken the right step. At that, Durga turns to Mrs. Desai, “See Manorama, I had told you more education would spoil your daughters. But you never listened. Now look after your daughter throughout your life”.  “But Didi”. Durga doesn’t allow Mrs. Desai to speak, “Enough Manorama, I am leaving” and leaves.

Mrs. Desai could feel tears rolling out of her cheeks. It was out of frustration for not being able to stand for her own daughter. Anita hugs her mother and Mrs. Desai starts weeping. “Why are you crying, Ma?” Mrs. Desai replies, “Who will look after you when I am gone?” Anita asks, “Where are you going?” Mrs. Desai scolds her daughter, “Don’t you dare joke about it” and smiles through her tears.

Anita comes back to her room. She looks around her, there were picture frames all around her in this room. There were pictures of her with her siblings, her holidays, her first birthday, her graduation and post-graduation days and a big framed picture of her with her dad. Anita was always her father’s favorite, eldest of the three daughters. She could remember her dad calling her, “You are my brave girl”.

When she had fallen from her bicycle and had a fractured wrist, her father had told her while plastering her limb that she was a brave girl who would be able to handle the pain with ease.  When she had gone to school wearing her braces for the first time and was teased by her school mates, she had come home crying and her mother had told her, “You need not worry about what others think about you. Be a brave girl and nobody would be able to tease you”.  When she could not secure a good grade in her second semester at college and was scared about her future, her father had reminded her how brave she was that she would do better next time. When she could not get a job after her college and was uncertain about her career, her father had again told her, “Be brave my girl. This is not the end of the world”.  During her post-graduation, when other relatives, family friends and neighbors were against her higher education, her parents and siblings had stood by her and always reminded her that she was brave enough to overlook all these hindrances. Her parents were criticized for sending their daughter for higher education rather than marrying her off as she was the eldest of three daughters.

Anita had met Navit in an overseas trip from office.  Their intellect and creative souls befriended each other and they fell in love. In spite of their different socio-economic and cultural backgrounds they fought all odds to get hitched. It was a marriage made in heavens. Her friends had always teased her that she had a fairy tale ending. Navit used to take care of her in every sense and had become her sole universe now. She could not even think of a life without Navit. When her father passed away three years ago, she would not have gone through it without Navit.  She had lost her father, her best friend. Everyone told her to be brave and it was Navit who gave her the strength to bear the loss, the pain.

                They had a good marriage.  They were married for seven years now. Four years ago, they had a son, Sashank. Sashank is going to start his school next month. Everything seemed so good but Anita only knows what pain she was going through. Anita doesn’t know how to tell this to her mother that Navit beats her. He becomes a different persona altogether when he is in rage. He throws things, kicks her, slaps her and last time he even lifted a chair to beat her. She doesn’t understand what happens to that loving and caring husband and her whole world turns upside down. She is unable to discuss about this with her friends and sisters. She can never tell her mother.

                She thinks she has taken a brave decision to put an end to all this. It becomes painfully intolerable to bear such humiliation, disgrace, dishonor and degradation and it punctures her self-esteem and pride every time. So she has taken the step to move ahead. She believes she is strong enough to fight all odds in the society. She can make a life for herself.

                Then she remembers what her father used to tell her.  She was a brave girl who can handle pain with ease. She has loved Navit with all her heart and she knows that he also loves her. They had built a beautiful life together. A faint voice jolts her from inside that she is brave enough to bear that pain for love. Whatever life throws at her, she is strong enough to embrace that. She should be brave enough to embrace that life with the person she loves. The woman inside her urges her not to go weak. But it is not the weakness with which she had loved Navit, it was her bravery which made her love Navit. She cannot let that bravery go from her. With that insight, she doesn’t waste any time, she picks up her phone and dials her husband’s number.

The Therapy

                Grace is damn tired today. Her heels and calf muscles are aching of continuous standing and running around. Her day shift, at the busy specialty hospital of the city, had ended half an hour ago and she is heading towards her quarters now. She feels as if she is never going to reach her destination. At the same time, her tummy also wants her attention. She runs into the roadside tea stall, and gobbles up a cup of tea and a hot samosa. She again heads towards her destination. She reaches the hostel premises in another ten minutes. She climbs up the stairs somehow and enters her clean and sweet smelling quarters and heaves a sigh of relief. Grace quickly fills a tub with hot water and soaks her feet into it. She feels numb and closes her eyes.

                Grace remembers her mother, Martha and feels her mother was some kind of a miracle woman. Did she never feel tired in her life raising Grace and her seven siblings? Maybe, she was a super woman. She feels it is one of her gloomy days. The head nurse, Matron Anne, always tells her not to take anything personally. And that iron lady seems calm and composed every day every time.  Grace hopes she would not be affected someday by the events at work. Needless to mention, her line of work has some downside. She falls on her clean bed and falls fast into a deep slumber.

                A heavy knocking jolted Grace out of her sleep. She opened the door to find her next-door neighbor Richa standing at her door.  Richa invited her for a cup of tea at her room. It was their usual routine. Grace was too tired for their idle chit chat today. Richa was as usual blabbering about her boyfriend who works at the medical stores near the hospital. Grace quietly listened to whatever Richa had to say. Her mobile phone beeped after some time and it was from the Security Guard at the hostel gate. He informed her that she had a visitor.

                She rushed through the stairs to find her mother seating at the guest room near the gate. She was overwhelmed to see her mother on that not-so-good day. She ran into her mother’s welcoming arms and started sobbing. Her mother gave her a light pat and sternly asked her to grow up and stop being a cry baby. How did her mother know that she wanted to talk to her mother today? Martha, looked at her eldest kid through her glasses and said, “Bad days come and go. Cheer up and take me to your room. I have some homemade goodies for you”. Grace accompanied her mother to her own quarters and called Richa also to her room. As soon as Martha handed her the Plum Cake she had baked for her daughter last night, Grace and Richa started gobbling slices of that yummy cake. Martha had to remind them sternly that she had baked the cake not to be finished in a jiffy. Grace and Richa shamelessly smiled at the older lady. Martha started complaining about how untidy Grace had kept her room and how pale and thinner she looked. Grace went to her mother and hugged her tightly. Richa chose that moment to get out of Grace’s room.

                Martha gave her account of all the Grace’s childhood friends who got married and who had children within the last six months. Grace understood that her mother wanted her to get married by tomorrow and have babies by maybe next month. But she didn't want to argue with her mother today. She was happy to see her mother. Her mother asked her if she had to go for night shift. Grace had forgotten everything about the hospital by now. But she remembered that Matron Anne had asked her to rest tonight. Grace told her mother that she didn't have to go to duty tonight. Martha seemed happy to hear that.

                Martha had come all the way to meet her daughter and they were going to have a meal together tonight. So Martha started searching in the small fridge for something to cook and was appalled by its emptiness. Grace informed her mother that they would be going out for dinner.  Since she didn't have to cook for now, Martha started folding clothes and arranging Grace’s wardrobe in spite of her daughter’s repeated requests to get some rest and do that later.  

                Around seven that evening, both mother and daughter stepped out of the hostel premises to have dinner at a nearby restaurant that is famous for its fish curry. As it was a weekday, the place had enough places to occupy. They took a seat near the window and ordered the famous fish curry and rice. They were busy with a conversation about their village when somebody called Grace’s name. Grace turned to see who it was and at first, she could not recognize the skinny frame of the man. It was Anthony. He looked paler and it was obvious his health had deteriorated for the worse. She asked her how he was. He smiled at her polite question but the smile didn't reach his eyes.  She asked him if he had also come here to eat the famous fish curry. He told her that he comes here to eat every day as his wife had left him for good.  

                It was bound to happen someday. Anthony was alcoholic and looking at his condition Grace understood that it would have been difficult for his wife. After he left, Martha asked her daughter if she still pined for him. Grace told her mother she was happy without him. And it was the truth. They finished their meal in silence and walked back to the hostel.

                As soon as they reached Grace’s quarters both mother and daughter fell asleep. It might be because of the heavy meal, events of the whole day and both were very tired off course.

                Grace’s mobile phone rings at that very moment. She picks up the call and on hearing Matron. Anne’s voice, she thinks she may have to run for some emergency now. But Matron Anne tells her she has called just to make sure Grace is fine and she need not come to duty tonight. She says, “Grace, you take rest for tonight. We understand that you lost one of your good friends today and we are really sorry about Richa. She will be missed deeply, may her soul rest in peace. See you tomorrow morning.”  She felt as if someone splashed chilled water over her. She turned to check if her mother was listening but nobody was at the other side of the bed. She checked the bedside table but found no half-eaten Plum Cake. She remembered that Richa and her boyfriend had met with an accident yesterday evening and whole morning they had tried to save Richa but she didn't come out of comma and finally gave in around noon.

                Grace turned to look at the wall clock. It was half past eight. She changed her work clothes and went down to eat dinner. She felt rested and she was ready to face people.

Pakodas, the Chai and the Rains

             Bhanu, the chai wala whose small canteen is open in the suburbs of the busy city, is very busy with his calculator. He looks sullen today of all days. “It’s raining Bhanu, cheer up”, one college student teases him while paying at the counter. Bhanu gives him a nonchalant look and acknowledges the younger man with a half-smile. Bhanu’s canteen is surrounded with colleges, tuition centers, office buildings and is placed at the center of a busy market area. His canteen is also clean and cheaper than the nearby KFC, Pizza Hut, McDonalds, etc. So, naturally Bhanu and his canteen are very popular with nearby college students, office goers and school going teenagers. Bhanu is also doing well in his business. Still Bhanu seems distant always. But his catering boys are so sweet and smiling that you can forget about the owner. Bhanu might be paying them well. 

            Forget about Bhanu though. Rain Gods are playing havoc. It’s chilly and Bhanu’s hot pakodas and chai are a welcome treat for any rain lover. And trust me, the place is hustling bustling with orders and guests this evening too.

            Six school going teenagers are at the table nearby the exit door. They are busy talking about some physics assignment. Waiter Rony brings them their order and is about to go back to the kitchen. Arun, one of the boys shouts, “Rony Bhaiya, how could you forget the mint chutney?” Rony smiles back and yells, “ला रहा हूँ यार (bringing that buddy)”.  Vivek barks at Arun, “You are thinking about Chutney now. Concentrate on the assignment; we have to submit it tomorrow morning”. Kabir and Danny also urge Arun to concentrate. The two girls, Radha and Shweta sitting with them are busy making some charts and look at Arun disgustingly.

            Kavita and her boyfriend Vishal are quarreling at the table towards the corner from last one hour. They have finished their tea and pakodas. It seems Vishal is not happy with some outstation assignment Kavita has got and she will have to move to Hyderabad for five months. Vishal asks her to reject the opportunity as his mother may visit him next month and he wants that Kavita meets his mother this time. Amit, the waiter who was attending them, comes to them and asks them politely, “Sir, और कुछ चाहिये (do you want anything else)”? Vishal confirms that they want nothing else and continues quarreling with Kavita. Amit clears his throat and tries again, “Sir, other people are waiting”. Kavita turns towards him and says, “देख भाई, हम यहाँ रोज आते हैं (we come here daily)”. Amit replies, “Yes Ma’am, you come here daily but there are lots of guests today and many are waiting for a vacant seat”. On that, Kavita and Vishal vacate the seat grudgingly. Amit seems relieved, but he is surely not getting any tip from them though.

            Azhar and Zoya are sitting at the table towards the other corner of the canteen. They got engaged recently and seem happy. They are pleased about everything around them. Rony goes to attend the lovey-dovey couple and is waiting for the couple to decide on the menu. Zoya asks, “आज बैंगन पकोड़े try करते हैं (let’s try deep fried eggplant fritters today)”. To that Azhar, replies, “No Darling, I am allergic to Eggplant”. Zoya exclaims, “Oh really? I never knew that". Azhar asks, “Let’s order आलू के पकोड़े (fritters made with potatoes)”. Zoya replies with a big no.  Rony patiently listens to their chit chat with a smile on his face. Finally, they come to a decision to order Gobhi pakodas (deep fried fritters of cauliflower florets).  Rony takes their order and heads towards the kitchen again.

            A big noisy college group is seated in middle of the room at the big table with ten chairs. However, there are more than ten people it seems and orders are coming from the group every ten to fifteen minutes. Ramesh is attending them and these people have kept him on his toes since they had walked in. Every ten minutes he can hear his name being called, “Ramesh Bhaiya?” It is someone’s birthday in the group today and all other youngsters are looting the host’s pocket money for sure. No sooner than Ramesh comes with the tray laden with different types of fritters and tea, the young very hungry group finishes everything in a jiffy and is ready to place their next orders.

            Next to the noisy group, two very busy professionals are seated with their laptops blinking and every now and then their mobile phones ring and they talk business. They are super restless; they want their orders as soon as possible. Kareem, their waiter has been called two or three times already to be asked when was he going to serve them within the last ten minutes. Kareem tells them it is getting ready with his ever smiling face. And the two gentlemen ask him every time to bring the order faster. Finally in fifteen minutes, their order is ready and Kareem serves them. The two gentlemen, however, are in no hurry to finish their order and leave the place.

            Near the counter to the left, this old couple, Mr. and Mrs. Murthy, is seated. They are sipping their sugar free cups of hot tea and are remembering the good old days when this canteen was run by Bhanu’s father and it was so less noisy. They wish those good days to return and this tea should not cost 30 damn rupees now. It used to cost only Rs.2 per cup those days. But they are regulars here and they always place their orders at the counter to Bhanu. Bhanu makes sure that they are seated near the counter and their orders are served with utmost care.

            To the right of the counter, a group of five friends are enjoying their cups of tea and mirchi pakodas (fried fritters of green chillies). They are busy in their idle chit chat when another of their friend enters the canteen and shouts at them, “वो मान गई यार (she has said yes)”. And then the other five cheers him and calls out in unison, “Party!!!” They start whistling and the friend who has just entered the room smiles from ear to ear.

            The place occupied by Kavita and Vishal a few minutes ago is now taken over by Pari and her mother. Pari is a sweet engineering student who is attending her final year. She is a bright student and is known to be a topper at her college. Amit takes their order of two cups of lemon tea without sugar and one portion each of gobhi and palak pakodas (deep fried fritters of cauliflower florets and spinach leaves). Pari’s mother is as usual obsessed with her ever increasing waist line. But even she cannot resist the temptation of fried fritters at Bhanu’s. She makes a special request to Amit to bring more tissue papers so that she can wipe off the oil from the pakodas before gobbling them. That is not the only worry in the world she has. She worries more for her daughter’s studies. She is asking Pari to get at least 90% this time in her final semester of engineering. Pari rectifies her mother once more that nowadays it is not percentage, it is CGPA. Then her mother asks her to get ‘A’ grade in every subject. Pari agrees because she knows she can never win this ever going battle.

            One more table, table No.8, is placed at the farthest corner of the room where this gentleman is seated with his family of four, his wife, one naughty little boy and another sweet toothless toddler and himself. His wife keeps scolding the little boy, “Ravi, do not touch the glasses, थप्पड़ पड़ेगा वर्ना (you will get a slap otherwise)”, or, “Ravi, चम्मच को रखो जगह पे (keep the spoon at its place or else I will beat you)”. Kareem goes to their table and asks what they would like to order. The gentleman asks Kareem if the canteen serves any non-veg food. When Kareem informs that this place only serves pakodas and chai, the gentleman asks again if they serve any non-veg pakodas made with chicken or fish. When Kareem ensures that they serve only veg items, the gentleman presses again and tells Kareem that he wants to be doubly sure that he is not served any non-veg food or something which might be cooked near any non-veg item. Kareem confirms that they do not even use eggs in their kitchen. So this gentleman places his order for two portions of Onion fritters and two cups of ginger tea. Kareem smiles and heads towards the kitchen.

            Near the hot furnace inside the kitchen, the two helper boys Raju and Mannu are waiting for the busy evening to end. Raju is busy preparing the batter for the fritters with gram flour and also cutting the vegetables at the same time. Mannu is preparing the tea and is busy hovering over the hot kettles of milk and brewing tea leaves. Sarju uncle, wiping his forehead, is supervising the two boys and is busy arranging the orders the waiters have brought in. Kareem walks into the kitchen with the order of table No. 8 and says, “चाचा लो एक और order (uncle, take one more order)”. Sarju notes down the order and the table number. Kareem asks the boys, “आज तो बारिश हो रही है, कैसे जाओगे घर (it’s raining today, how will you go home)”? Raju and Mannu give him a forlorn look. Sarju scolds Kareem, “मेरे लड़कों को तंग मत कर, जा अपना काम कर (don’t tease my boys, go do your own work)”. Kareem leaves with a smile.

            Bhanu, looks at the grandfather clock hanging in the wall and finds that it is now eight in the evening. In another one hour, he will have to close the canteen. He has to reach the bedside of his ailing wife. He is worried that he might get delayed in the traffic due to the rains. He is afraid that she might go before he reaches the hospital. She was not looking too good when he left her for work today morning. He truly hopes that he is near her when she breathes her last.

One Half Family

I was overwhelmed to see the tiny feet, tiny toes, small hands and the pink face. It brought tears to my eyes when all her tiny fingers grabbed my finger and held on tightly. Yes my daughter is born. Her father picked her up and I saw pride in his eyes. For the first time in his life, he has picked up a child. I was filled with mixed emotions remembering my dad who is no more. I was the apple of my father’s eyes, and I have no doubt about it that my daughter will be apple of my husband’s eyes.

                My daughter is also born into the same society where daughters are brought up with utmost love, respect and care. She is the doll, the princess and the Goddess too. The lullaby is sung by her father, with a dream that when she grows up, she will be married to a prince and she will be treated with love and respect at her in-laws place. Once she gets married, things might change though.  It will be her duty to respect her husband’s family; however, she might not get the respect in return. Her parents will be insulted in many occasions but she will have to keep mum. And, sad but it’s true that she will be treated as an outsider always.

                We live in a modern, techno-savvy, educated society, where both the sexes are equal they say. There are equal opportunities for both. We have crossed that era where men used to be the breadwinner of the family. They say it is not sufficient with one income nowadays. Both husband and wife are supposed to earn, bring up and educate their children together, build a house, and so on. But it will always be our son’s house, our son’s car, and our son’s child. It will never be our daughter in-law’s car or house. One more irony is there, when daughter in-law is sweeping, mopping, and decorating their son’s house, they say, “it’s her house anyways so what is the big deal if she is doing all these”?  Yes, of course and the funniest is that the child was borne solely by their son.

                If the couple does not have a child, it is all daughter in-law’s fault. In that case, the daughter in-law is either getting older, has some problems or not family oriented and more of a career woman, etc. But whatever daughter in-law earns, that is their right. She is supposed to buy expensive gifts or give it all to her mother in-law, brother in-law or sister in-law. If she gives a gift to her own sister, that is extravagance and is to be talked about for all the years to come.  If she buys an expensive smartphone for herself, they say she is spendthrift but for their son it is required for his official work. 

                Hypocrisy is thy name. When a daughter comes to touch your feet you say, “Our daughters need not touch our feet”. But a daughter in-law is supposed to do that. So, when you don’t consider your daughter in-law as your own child, why do you expect her to treat you as her own mother or father? Appreciate her when she is looking after your grandchild, she is decorating your son’s house, or she is cooking your son’s favorite meal rather than telling her how your son loves your cooking or how much your grandchild resembles you and your son. Tell her sometime that the child also looks like her. Appreciate someday that she has kept your son happy all these years rather than pointing it out to your son about her failures.

                This family is neither complete nor equal. On her shoulder all the responsibilities should befall, she has to earn money, she has to pay the bills and take care of the groceries, she has to take care of the family, and she should love and respect every member of the family. But nobody would care about her self-respect, dignity and above all her due space and peace of mind. So, I ask you where the equality is. When their son wants to come out and build his own identity somewhere else, she would be blamed always for their son to leave the parental house. She would be judged for every action of hers. My dear daughter, I wish you do not have to undergo this kind of turmoil in your life.

                So for now, the half family lives on without any apprehension; the other half is never accepted in the family anyways.

Those were the best days of my life....

Well, you must have heard that famous song of Bryan Adams, but I am not going to talk about that song. Legends and their work should be better left out to the critics, and I am a huge (do not think about sizes, please) fan of Bryan Adams, so nothing can go wrong with his work. Coming to my subject now, “those were the best days of my life”, truly speaking I am unable to decide which my best days are, when I was in school, or when I was in college, or now when I am working. Or maybe, my courtship days were best, but I am happily married, too. I honestly love that day of the month when salary gets credited to my bank account. I love Saturdays and Sundays, too and I wish that after every Sunday, Friday should come instead of a Monday. I guess it is the same with every other man or woman.

It was Valentines Day on 14^th February. The red rose bud which I had bought one week earlier for five bucks was sold for 20 bucks that very day. I guess it was really not fair for those lovebirds. Please don’t say that everything is fair in love and war. Think about those poor guys/girls who have more than one or two girl/boy friends. And please don’t scratch your brains asking why I was buying red roses that day. It was for my flower vase, honestly. And I bought carnations and gladiolas too. Seeing those school going teenager kids exchanging the red roses left me with a feel of nostalgia. I remembered my school uniform suddenly. All prim and proper with that knee-length skirt and extra white shirt and shining black shoes and white socks. I do not know why of all things I just had to remember only my school uniform. Anyways, funny little thing is our mind that can go any direction it wishes to and at any time.

I know I am drifting away from my subject. But I was going to tell you about an incident of my school time. I was not a teenager then, however, but I was in first standard as far as I can remember. I was with Meenakshi, that childhood friend of mine with whom I had done the most mischief of my life. We were playing near the gate of my house and there was a drainage system nearby and we could see the green moss, looking like a bed of grass. Suddenly, we thought of jumping across the green moss. At first I was not inclined to do so, but she made me live that song ‘Ye dosti hum nahi todenge’ from the movie Sholay. And we fell into that dirty, filthy drain of water. And to our horror, in that particular moment our mothers came outside and witnessed our intentional fall into that pool of water. They didn't shout at us nor even scolded us, however, but surprising thing was that they didn't say anything; they just helped us out, ordered us to change our respective uniforms and wash ourselves. We both went to each other’s houses, we were neighbors too, washed ourselves and got changed into something fresh and came back outside. Our mothers were still talking to each other. They saw us and her mother asked where we get these ideas from. Our mothers were actually very angry about our little fiasco. We knew that and kept quiet. Her mother asked again, with much anger she could possess this time, “I know who the troublemaker between you two is. You are getting naughtier each day. Meenakshi, tell me, where do you get this kind of energy from?” And out came the reply “Boost is the secret of my energy” and I said “Our Energy”. Well, we were saved however from the wrath of our respective fathers but we were made to wash our respective uniforms that day.

Once, in school, history class was going on. Our teacher was teaching a crucial part of Indian History, the 1857 war. I was however, a bright student, but I could be a trouble maker also at times. This time I was engrossed in talking with one of my friends. Suddenly, my poor teacher’s question reaches me,” Nabanita, how was the war of 1857?” I replied, “Terrible”, instead of saying it was a sepoy mutiny. Since, I was into his good books, he just laughed. During my post graduation days, we used to have a professor, on whose eyes female students doing post graduation were wastes. In his opinion, we women are from some planet where engineering post graduation is next to impossible for us. I don’t know why he was so much against us. Once he had given an assignment to the class and had asked us to do some research on some topic and present in the class. I was the only female student in that class of that premiere institution and it was just our first semester. After I presented my research, I had seen a peculiar kind of expression on his face; he stood up from his chair and gave me a standing ovation. I was quite surprised on his unusual kind of behavior. Maybe, all my juniors who are girls should be thanking me for his change of heart. I remember the convocation day, when he had personally walked to me to congratulate as two of my research papers were published in IEEE. That had been a wonderful day of my life. 

Let’s come back to the present day. My best friend has the cutest twins in the world, one boy and one girl. She had written about one of their funny incidents the other day in Facebook, where the girl who is elder than her brother by 2 minutes bosses around her brother. One of my best friend’s acquaintances had commented and asked her to enjoy these days as these were the kids’ best days. I guess for a mother everyday of her kid will be best. I remembered when we (I and my best friend) used to boss around our own little sisters. However, her friend had also commented that since her own kid has grown of that age, she misses those earlier days. Well, it’s very human to not acknowledge what we have now but to worry or dream about the coming future or miss or regret the past. When we were school going kids, we used to think when we will reach college, we will be the enjoyable lot. When we reached college, we used to miss our schooldays and used to think when we will join the corporate world; our gloomy days will be over. And finally, we reached the corporate life we were craving for and joined the quest for money and power and realized that we are still not happy. We now crave for college days. I guess when we retire; we would miss our busy working life.

I remember the day, when my husband and I had gone on our first official date before marriage. It had rained that day and we had only one umbrella to share. One might think it was a perfect romantic day. Well, it was. But the day, when we had gone for a long drive for the first time after we got married, was equally blissful. And I can’t diminish the pleasure of that day when we had bought our first car. What do I do now? Shall I recollect all these days and write about them in one notebook and label it as My Best Days? I think, in that case, I won’t do justice to those days of mine I like sipping coffee at my office desk, and those days I am chatting with my family for long hours on phone, and those days when I meet my old friends and relive those school or college days, and what about those days when I simply enjoy my own company and listen to whatever music I like, and then how can I neglect those days when I cook something special for my husband and he relishes every bite of that and the days when we quarrel and make up. The list is actually never-ending. Every day can become a best day for me if I think. You think for yourself.

PS: I had published this write-up in Sulekha four years ago in February 2011.

While Growing up...

Do you remember what you used to do when you were a kid? The childhood days are the most endeared ones. Whom so ever I know wants to go back to his/her childhood. Imagine how wonderful it would be to relive those moments. Just remembering those mischief(s) you had been involved in with your sibling(s), brings a smile.

When I was a toddler, dad and mom used to take me to movies with them. My dad would buy me popcorn and I would sit on the stairs near my parent’s row of seats and would be munching my popcorns. As soon as I used to finish, I would go to my parents and ask them if we could go home. My dad would give me something toys to play with and I would go back to the stairs, sit and start playing. Again after sometime I would be ready to go home. My mother would then give me some candies and the series of events would repeat. They would be thinking of ideas to keep me busy so that they could watch the movie. Finally they decided not to go for movies till I grow a little.

I used to be the most lovable toddler in my neighborhood. The other kids used to like me a lot. Whenever my mom would carry me outside, the other kids would come to play with me. I used to see all other kids of the neighborhood going to school. Since I was the only one not going to school that time, I would start howling after our neighbors’ kids would leave for school. I would start showing tantrums and not-eating-anything syndrome. So my father would carry me with a small bag in his scooter for a short ride and drop me home before he used to leave for the hospital. I would be very happy and when the other kids would come back from school, I would tell them, with my funny little vocabulary those days, how I went to school that day.

My mother tells me of one incident which, however, I vaguely remember. I had not started school yet, I was on the verge of starting school. My mother used to be associated with different social working organizations. It was a children’s day and some group had organized an event for a Poem Recitation competition for children under 14 years. My mother was one of the judges. I was sitting near my mother watching the participants coming to the stage one by one and speaking on the microphone. Suddenly I realized, I had to recite a poem too. And I started troubling my mother. Seeing that, one of the organizers, just for fun, took me to the stage, announced my name, and gave me the microphone. I sang a nursery rhyme. After that everyone applauded. I was so pleased to see everyone clapping that I said I wanted to sing another. They allowed me to sing another of my rhymes and they clapped again. I was so elated and obviously, I wanted to sing another. The organizers had to lure me with chocolates and candies to end my never ending saga of nursery rhymes.

When I had first joined school, my childhood friend, Meenakshi, was also with me. We were family friends so had known each other since our birth. We saw that every other kid is weeping. When our parents left, our teacher had a difficult time trying to stop the tears of those kids. Meenakshi and I had our own plans to help our teacher. During lunch break, all our small friends were still weeping. Meenakshi and I caught hold of the kids and started hitting them. If they would cry more, we will beat them more. And our little friends were horrified to howl the next day but Meenakshi and I were called to the Principal’s office. The principal was an old person nearing his retirement. As soon as we entered his room and saw him, Meenakshi ran to him calling him grandpa. I thought he was her real grandpa, so I also ran to him calling him grandpa. After that I only remember him feeding us chocolates. I don’t remember much but my mother tells me, Meenakshi and my parents got lots of complaints against us.

I was sent to learn classical music at the same time I started my school. I remember I would be asked to practice but I would be sitting in front of the harmonium with a big pouting face. Then all of a sudden, my mother would start singing off key. Listening to her, I would start singing to correct her and that’s how my mom would trick me to practice. My dad used to drop me at the music teacher’s place every Saturday after school. That lady was old and used to wear big fat glasses; I used to call her grandma. She used to give me music lessons and I used to be peeping at the wall clock all the while. As soon as the class would be over, I used to run outside to see if my dad had returned to fetch me. If I would not see my dad waiting outside, I would start crying thinking what might happen if he forgets to pick me up today. Many a times, my music teacher’s husband would drop me home as I would not stop crying whenever my dad, being a busy doctor, was late. My parents would be so embarrassed with my dramatic fiasco. My dad would warn me not to repeat the same episode of last week before he used to drop me at her place next Saturday. I would be extra careful that day particularly not to weep even if my dad would be a little late. But I would forget that little warning again on Saturdays that would come later.

But at the same time, my dance classes were a different story altogether. I used to go to those classes with my best friend, Kavya, on Sunday mornings.  Either her father or my father would drop us and pick us up from the Dance school every week. Some days they might be late, and both of us would wait for some time. Then we would decide to head back home by foot and to everyone’s surprise, we would take the road which we used to know that our fathers do not take. We would take some twists and turns and take the roads where four wheelers could not go so as to shorten our trip. And by the time, we would reach home, search operations would have been started already. We would be scolded and would be warned not to do that again. But to our parents’ horror, we would repeat our escapade some days later. 

When my younger sister was born, I was very enthusiastic about the idea of showing her to the world. I remember whenever someone would visit to see her, my mother would carry her in her arms and show her to neighbors, visitors and family members. So, I thought you need to show her to people. That morning some friend of the family had arrived, and my mother was taking bath. I thought in her absence, I needed to show my sister to the visitor. So, I lifted her in my tiny arms with all her baby cot and blanket and stood smiling in front of the bathroom door. My mother opened the door and saw us. If she would have shouted, I guess I would have dropped her. I excitedly told my mother about the visitor and how I wanted to help my mother. My mother simply smiled and appreciated my thought and slowly took my sister from my arms. I was so proud of the fact that I could lift the baby and felt that I have grown up. Whenever I think about that day now, I get goose bumps.

When I am writing this article, I can’t stop myself sharing this incident. My sister had just started her school. We had gone to a birthday party of a one year old, who was the younger brother of one of her schoolmates. After we returned home, she started opening wardrobes after wardrobes. My mother asked her what was she looking for to which she replied she was searching for batteries because at her schoolmate’s house she had seen a doll kicking and moving his limbs so she also wanted to insert batteries into her dolls. She was so innocent and cute. And I can’t imagine that she is now married and runs a house.

I always used to tease my younger sister that we had brought her from a nearby dustbin. She used to be very upset with the idea. When she did her blood grouping test, it came out that we both sisters have the same blood group. I remember the day, when her blood group results have come. She had entered the house with my dad, and she had come running to me and had told me, “You know I came to know today that you were also brought from the same dustbin exactly four and a half years ago before I was brought home”. I understood straight away what she meant but my parents were confused and were looking baffled at our nonsense talk. 

I had been involved in many mischiefs in childhood along with my sister. However, we enjoy being mischievous even now. Actually, it was me who would involve her so that she doesn’t tell anything to mom and dad. Trust me; she was very bad in keeping secrets that time. We would plan a surprise gift for mom or dad on their birthday or anniversary and she would go to my mom and say, “Ma, do you know, what are we planning for your birthday? Well, I can’t tell you about the card we have prepared for you”.

My sister has stood by me many a times. The vice versa is also true, of course. But, the bond between siblings does come with its share of sibling rivalry, too. I realize that I used to be meaning to my younger sister some of the times. My mother would give us chocolate bars of equal sizes. I would eat some and then hide it somewhere. After my sister would finish hers, I would again start eating and tell her, mom loved me more so she had given me a bigger share and she would start crying. After some time, I would myself tell her the truth. Whenever I had to go to some of my friend’s birthday party, I would be asked to take her with me. I used to be very upset with that idea. On the way to my friend’s house, I would be walking fast thinking that if she can’t measure up to me she would go back home. But some time later she would start crying because she couldn’t walk fast and she was behind me. I would be scared that somebody might kidnap her, and I would go running back to her and cajole her so that she stops crying and finally, I would take her to my friend’s house happily.

We used to quarrel a lot, too. We will be shouting at each other and will be hitting each other. We will be asked to go to separate rooms after that and we will be asked not to speak to each other. Just after ten or fifteen minutes, both of us will silently meet when our parents are not looking and start talking and planning another mischief as if nothing had happened earlier. And mom and dad would feel they were the culprits to separate the inseparable sisters. J

During festivals or some occasions, my mother would prepare delicacies and would store them in different jars. And on Sundays when mom would be taking her nap, I would be stealing them from those jars. I would force my sister to eat even if she didn’t like so that she could not tell mom as partners in crime tend to stick together. Sometimes my mom would hide those jars but somehow we two sisters would know where to find them. We would become Sherlock Homes, and Agatha Kristie; merged into one.

Well, the list goes on and on. And time just flies. I would love to go back to those days. Thinking about those days not only makes me smile but also brings back to life the child still inside me. You could have taken my childhood away from me but you could not take the child out of me. These memories would last with me till my last breathe. And, also am ensuring that it has been documented.

The So called Educated Mass of India

A lady wearing an ultra-modern dress, sipping wine from her glass is making nonchalant conversations with her companions seating with her in a classy pub located in a posh area of Bangalore. The waiter comes with their main courses and serves one by one. Her dish had not come yet and she comments “Oh, my God, I am treated like a SC/ST, he will serve me later”.  My eyes popped out literally, it seems we live with funky gadgets in this techno savvy Modern India but our thoughts are still from Medieval Indian Society.  

I work with a private corporate IT giant of India. Once we were planning in office to go for recruitment of fresh graduates to some college. One of our HR Managers calls me one day and asks if I was available that week to go out to that college for technical interviews. When I said I was busy but could go out the next week, he tells me, “We need to hurry up, and go this week itself, otherwise, only SC/ST candidates will remain”. WHAT? I was in total shock.

We stay in an apartment where all so called educated people stay. Most of us claim of high degrees, so called double-triple post-graduations. It’s impressive, isn't it? I got acquainted with a gentleman and his wife, who were equally very impressive with their higher degrees. So, first day we meet, I politely ask them which part of India they belong to, he tells me, “We are from so and so part of India and we are BRAHMANS”. I could not understand whether he wanted me to touch his feet and pray his praises? Being born into an upper caste, these educated Indians still think themselves as privileged.

Well, I can’t forget what used to happen in my premium college, one of the best deemed Universities of India, where I had done my post-graduation in Engineering (Yes, pun intended). In a hush-hush manner, some student will point out to another student and say, “Do you know he/she is from the reserved category”? As if the other person is some criminal. Please wake up modern India, our batch’s gold medalist was from a lower caste and he is now an I.E.S officer.  And please, don’t even try to tell me that he got the gold medal because of his reservation rather than merit.

In the corporate, hi-tech world of ours, people may not practice discrimination and would show total disgrace to untouchability still prevailing in some parts of rural India. But still the talks or mannerism show their total disrespect of humanity. For example, they will make funny comments when someone is sitting alone in a canteen table away from a group like “Achhooton ki tarah kyu baithe ho (Why are you sitting like an untouchable)”?  One of my colleagues used to like a guy in office. It was obvious the guy was also interested in her. I asked her once if she wanted his number, I could arrange it for her. Her reply was equally nerve-racking for me, because she replied, “what’s the use; anyways my parents will kill me if I marry a person from lower caste”. How do you even talk of a caste less Indian society when you cannot marry your kid to a lower caste person or when you have become so arrogant with your caste identity? It is so disgusting that you would rather kill your own child than marrying him/her to a person of lower caste.

I had the false notion of how education transforms lives. Yes, it definitely has opened up paths and created opportunities for many, allowing people to rise above the circumstances of their birth and background. But still educated mass of India likes to live with their so-called privileged upper caste titles. As India transforms, one might expect caste to dissolve and disappear, but that is not happening.  Instead, caste makes its presence felt vibrantly alive when it comes to two significant societal markers — marriage and politics.

Discrimination based on caste has been illegal in India for more than six decades. But still it shows its colors in a hush-hush manner. And, the irony is that we call ourselves a secular and free country.

We, our lives, official jargon(s) and Us

I do not know whether you want to acknowledge it, but don’t you think our lives revolve around our professional space. All those experts and obviously loaded big bosses always tell us how we need to distinguish our personal and professional lives. They will always preach that their successful lives are because they could draw the thin line between their personal and professional commitments. Well, bigger and fatter salaries may have taught you that.

            Let us not wander into that territory, however. I want to draw your attention towards all official no-nonsense jargon(s) that we use often in our day to day lives. How many times in our everyday conversation, do we use the phrases ‘No Issues’, ‘Let me check what I can do about it’ (famous HR lines), etc.?

            One of my friends emailed me her recent holiday pictures she had shot in Singapore with the famous message body ‘PFA’. I was dumbfounded to see such a formal way to share those pictures with me, which I had already seen in Facebook. I forward the scanned copies of my certificates from one email ID to another and write ‘FYI’. Now, I wonder why I need to be informed. My maid calls me and asks if she can come late on some day due to some reason and I reply her “NO ISSUES, you can come late”.

            I will tell you about one more hilarious incident, which to my horror, my husband never lets me forget. Why should not I tell it to everybody myself? Once our car had gone for servicing, when they did not wash the car properly and my husband raised a complaint. So this car dealer calls us again for a free car wash. This time to our disappointment, they had somehow misplaced our foot mats. So, I go to the mechanic (all fumed up) and ask him “Is this how you do a SERVICE RECOVERY?”

            One day my boss was on sick leave, and he emails to all his team members with the subject ‘Out of service, on sick leave today’. I could not understand whether to laugh or to feel sorry that he was not well. Rather, I took a long tea break. We were having a party on New Year’s Eve on our apartment terrace. Our own society was organizing the event and we needed to contribute some amount. So one among us shouts (as we ladies were chit chatting about our maids), “Let’s get ready for the party and contribute the money ASAP”.

     As you all are aware, water scarcity is a big issue in any apartment on a weekend. One fine Saturday morning, there was no water supply and when the reservoir could not reciprocate to our demands. All the tenants and occupants of the flats asked the watchman to run the water motor pump so as to meet our demands from the underground bore well. To our horror, the watchman tells us that the water motor pump is not working from the last week and so, he is trying the dealer’s number now. And one gentleman who is from the Software industry tells him, “You should raise the RED-FLAG immediately if there is any ISSUE, rather than waiting for things like this to happen“. We understand that he had a point there, and he was off course right but, our dear watchman didn't understand anything.

            My sister sends me a greeting card on my email with emotion filled words and images. I was brought to tears. Please do not misunderstand me; I was not overwhelmed by her emotional greeting card. I could not control my laugh and due to which my eyes started watering. At the end of her email, it was written, ‘Thanks and Regards’, so and so, official email ID, contact number, etc. Once we had visited our family friends’ and their two year old son was very naughty. His father, on a lighter note, was telling about his son’s mischievous stories and tells us “these kids are not very USER-FRIENDLY”.

            We were planning to call one aerobics teacher or a gym trainer to our apartment, who can come daily morning and every family can join in the training sessions. So, we started a discussion in WhatsApp for its feasibility, cost, number of people interested, etc. I get a WhatsApp message one day, “Hey, let me know who will be the STAKEHOLDERS and what will be its IMPACT on regular gym timings”.

            We are unaware of how many such official jargons or phrases we use in our daily conversations. Now, please tell me how and where I draw that thin line between my personal life and professionalism. J