The Heartbeat

Neelima was outside the Radiologist’s chamber and was crying her heart out. She was not sad, she was happy, but she was emotional. Vimal stood by her side and held her. She was blessed to have a husband like him by her side. She was six weeks pregnant and both had heard their baby’s heartbeats when the doctor was performing the first ultrasound scan of their unborn child thirty minutes ago.

Three years ago, it was a different story. She had seen the two red lines on the pregnancy kit. Neelima and Vimal had visited a doctor same evening. The doctor confirmed her pregnancy of four weeks and mentioned it is very early. She was asked to go for an ultrasound scan in next two days. The scan report mentioned her conception and recommended another scan in two weeks because it was too early to detect baby’s heartbeats.

Neelima had a nightmare that night. She saw two of her favourite persons were leaving her and she was feeling helpless, she tried with her wails to stop them, but they did not stay. She had not seen these people anytime in her life, she did not know them, but she felt as if these two were her lifeline. She woke up with a spine chilling sweat. Vimal was sleeping beside her. She did not wake him up, drank some water and went back to sleep. But she could not forget this strange dream. Two days later, she went for her second scan. The doctor said the foetus’ heartbeat was very feeble, he could not detect it fully. He said it was because Neelima was overweight, so he recommended another scan in another two weeks. But before she could go for the third scan, she got the news of her father passing away.

Her father left behind her mother, her younger sister and herself. When she reached her parent’s place, she saw the lifeless body of her father. She had always believed her father will always be there, but he was gone. Her father was a paediatrician and was fond of children. Whole her life she had seen him treating children, her friends, children of neighbours, relatives, grandchildren of others. Why could not he wait for his own grandchild? She saw her mother lit the funeral pyre of her father. That day she felt cheated by her father somehow.

Few days later, Vimal and Neelima were coming home from office on their two-wheeler. It was raining cats and dogs. The streets were slippery due to the wet earth, the bike skidded, and both fell. Neelima felt an excruciating pain in her stomach and felt the wetness. She met her gynae immediately and reported about her spotting. She was whisked away for an immediate scan when the radiologist did not say anything to her. She was given an injection and was asked to go home for the night and come the next morning. She woke up in the middle of the night and went to the toilet. Big clots of blood were oozing out of her. Neelima would never forget that night her whole life.

Next morning, she reached her gynae’s clinic, where she underwent a procedure. After that she was asked to go home and take rest for two days. An emptiness surrounded her which remained for a long time with her. Her mother-in-law and her husband’s aunts asked her to check with doctors if she would conceive again. Also, asked her to check whether she can carry a pregnancy. They told her stories of some old ladies who were near their menopausal age had tried to get pregnant several times but could not carry the whole term of nine months and lost their babies. Neelima was scared to death with their tales and went to depression for a long time. But with therapy she could gain back her composure again. That was a long battle with her own self. This was then and this is now.

Neelima was in the middle of 12^th week of her pregnancy. She was talking with her office colleagues near the coffee vending machine. Suddenly she felt a warm feeling inside and when she looked down, she could see blood droplets on the floor. She rushed to the toilet and was appalled to see herself bleeding. She screamed and called her mother, “Maa”. Her mother started crying on the other side of the phone, “Be strong and brave, my child. Please be strong”.

Soon after, she was surrounded by her female colleagues. She went on saying holding her stomach, “My baby, my baby, please save my baby”. Her colleague, Sangeetha said, “Please do not cry and do not stress yourself out. It may not be what you are thinking. You have seen my 6-year-old daughter, I also had a difficult pregnancy”. But Neelima could not understand what her colleague wanted to say, her mind was already blank, and she was trying very hard to numb her feelings and emotions. Her husband was informed and her gynae was consulted and she was wheeled away to the waiting ambulance.

While the ambulance was carrying her towards the radiologist’s chamber, Neelima was trying to hold her emotions. It was the longest 30 minutes ever of her lifetime. She was secretly saying her prayers to keep her child safe. How would she live if anything happens to this unborn child inside her? She was taken out in a wheelchair after reaching the diagnostic centre. She could not control herself when she saw Vimal waiting there and started weeping. Her sobs were uncontrollable. Hearing her sobs an unknown lady approached her. She asked, “Why are you crying, my child?” Neelima could just say, “My baby, my baby…”. The old lady then said something which Neelima would not forget for her lifetime, “Your child will conquer all odds, if you are brave. Be strong and give the will to your baby”. Neelima was wheeled inside the Sonography room. The nurse put the gel on her tummy and the doctor started the sonography. “Can you hear the baby’s heart beats?” Lubb-dubb, lubb-dubb. “It’s steady, the baby is fine”.

Neelima heard the radiologist say, “Why are you stressed, Madame? Your baby is alright and doing fine. This is a case of Placenta Previa and it leads to bleeding during pregnancy. I will talk to your gynae for some medications and if you take good rest and limit your physical activities, you will do just fine”. Neelima’s tears started falling down her cheeks and Vimal held her. After some time, she came outside to the waiting area and met the old lady again. The old lady asked her, “How are you, my child?” Neelima replied with a beaming smile through her teary eyes, “I am fine, Aunty. Baby is also doing fine”. The kind lady said, “Everything will be alright, keep smiling always. You will have a brave baby girl like you”.

Two days after the start of 37^th week, Neelima was taken inside the operation theatre. Her gynae performed a C-section on her. Neelima was overjoyed to hear the cry of her doctor that a pink healthy girl has arrived, Nyra.

PS: This is a heartfelt gratitude for the kind words of a colleague, Sangeetha and a stranger, an old lady who appeared out of nowhere and gave me the courage and will. 

 

Ahalya - The Stone of all ages

 Ashwini reached office around 7:30 AM that day, she had left office last night at 9 PM. Their project was going live in one or two days, so work was very hectic these days. They start early and are working very late through the evening. She is keeping her fingers crossed for today and hopes Kapil behaves properly today. She had ignored his advances all these days, but she was appalled by his actions last night. They had to share the office cab last night while going back home and he tried to touch her inappropriately. She politely asked him not to repeat such an action. When she reached home, she was truly disturbed, and her husband had observed that. She did not talk about Kapil’s behavior but instead lied to her husband complaining about work pressure and deadlines. She could not sleep too. She was in her thoughts when she realizes Kapil is staring at her from his desk and she feels creepy under his gaze, but she keeps quiet.

Kamla reaches the fifth floor and rings the doorbell. Usha opens the door and starts scolding her, “Kamla Bai, you are late today also. It is already 7:30 AM, Minti must catch the school bus by 8 and her lunch box is still not ready. We also must leave for office early today”. Kamla says, “Madame, I will make everything ready in no time, do not worry”. Usha asks, “And, why is your forehead and nose swollen? Did your husband hit you again? Why don’t you complain against him?” Kamla keeps quiet and continues with her chores. Kamla has three kids to feed and a drunkard husband who abuses and beats her almost daily at nights. But she cannot leave him. Where would she go? At least he provides her shelter.

Usha and Varun leaves for office. Kamla locks their flat after her tasks are completed and runs to third floor. Meera opens the door and lets Kamla in. Every day, Meera opens the door with a smile which never reaches her eyes. From the other room, Meera’s mother-in-law yells, “Where is my medicine?” Kamla goes about her chores and Meera goes to serve her mother-in-law. The insults to Meera continues, “My son is working so hard every day and slogging day and night outside. With his hard-earned money, you are just enjoying a luxurious life. You could not give birth to a son also. With two daughters, we will have to pay so much dowry. You did not bring a penny to this house. On top of that, you also need a maid to do the household chores. Why can’t you do sweep and mopping? Whole day, what do you have to do?” Since last twelve years of her marriage, Meera had been the recipient of all these insults. She also knows that Arvind is having an affair with another woman. She swallows the painful lump rising in her throat and goes about her daily chores in her husband’s house.

“Madame, will you give my payment today?” Meera replies apologetically, “I will give you tomorrow”. Kamla empathizes with her and leaves. She rings the bell of the next house where she works. Arpita warily peeps at the intruder and then opens the door to let Kamla in. As soon as Kamla enters, she hears Kavita’s cries from the other corner of the house. Arpita cautions her, “Do not go that side”. Kamla sighs thinking it will not be the right time to ask for her payment today. She carries on with her tasks but feels miserable by Kavita’s sobs and pleas for help from the other end. Arpita is sitting on a rocking armchair with a magazine but she seems unfazed with the events running in this house. Arpita and Vignesh, are married for last 30 years and do not have a child of their own. Three years back, they had adopted Arpita’s orphaned niece, Kavita. Kavita was ten years old then. But Vignesh is not a good man. He had showered all his lecherous instincts upon Kavita and had been assaulting the poor child all this time.

Vasu reaches home after picking up their son, Karthik, from his school. Vasu runs his start up business from home. His business is doing well from some time now and he believes he can afford their luxurious life but fails to understand why his wife is being stubborn on continuing her job. Of late, Ashwini has been very busy in office and often comes late at nights and only talks about deadlines. Whenever he talks about taking a vacation, she snaps and tells about this project being her baby, how this will progress her career and why she should not take a vacation before it goes live. He has a suspicion that she is hiding something from him. “Is she having a secret affair with somebody?” The doorbell rings, “It’s Kamla Aunty, Papa!” Vasu replies, “Okay, Karthik. Go and finish your homework. Kamla Tai, first you finish preparing the food then do the cleaning”. Kamla asks, “OK, Sir. Is Madame coming late today also?” “Yes, she will be late, but she has asked me to give your payment today. So, before leaving take it from me”.

Ahalya was cursed ages ago to turn into a stone. She was named, Ahalya, which means “one with no ugliness” and had been Creator’s prized possession. Today also, Ahalya is not ugly but is a stone and must wait for centuries for salvation. She does not breathe, has no feelings and does not voice her thoughts.

Crushed Crushes and more...

Meera was going through the journals while sipping her coffee, in her chic business suit with her unruly hairs tied elegantly in a knot on top of her head. She was waiting for her flight in that airport business lounge. Her mobile phone beeped, and she saw a text from her mother reminding her to bring some Barbie doll for her niece. Oh no, she had completely forgotten about it. She gulps down her coffee and rushes outside to the duty-free shops. She finds a Hamleys’ nearby and buys the doll in question and some more stuffs which she thinks her 6-year-old niece may like. While returning to the lounge, she gets a glimpse of a familiar looking person. She turns around and tries to search though the crowded alleys of the airport, but she finds nobody familiar. She thinks it may be her illusion and returns to the lounge. It was silly of her to have an illusion of a person whom she had not met or remembered in last ten or eleven years.

She is twenty-nine and unmarried, to her parents’ dismay. Her childhood neighbor and best friend, Neetu had been married five years ago and is now a mother of two kids. And her mother keeps reminding her that she is wasting her fertile years. Her two elder brothers are also married with kids. So, every other day, her parents find her a match and either the boy’s parents reject her for being open minded and independent or because of her short haircut. Sometimes she needs to decline because she is asked to leave her job, or something which she does not like. Her mother had told her many times, she needs to learn to compromise. In any case, it was her who will have to compromise after marriage also. So, she should not complain now, and she should not be proud of her high paying corporate job. However, her father and her brothers had been supporting her all these years. Her own sisters-in-law are earning handsomely and managing their homes efficiently and the irony is that her mother is equally proud of her daughters-in-law. This time also she is rushing to her hometown because her mother’s pundit ji has found some alliance and the prospective guys’ family wants to meet her this weekend.

Her flight is announced, and she boards her plane. After keeping her belongings in the overhead bunkers, she falls back on her seat and ties the seat belt around her waist. She sees the familiar face pass by her again. And, it was obvious, he had not recognized her. She remembers his name, Rahul. However, she did not hear any violins playing in the background. (Yes, every pun intended)

Meera, the plain jane girl of school, scholarly girl with round specs, was in class seven. This new boy, Rahul, had joined their school that year. He was every girl’s dream. He resembled Jas Arora, of “Gud Naal Ishq Meetha” fame. So, she had believed then. Meera would be blushing crimson red to her ears whenever Neetu would tease her with his name. Meera jolts back to present when the pilot speaks from the cockpit and the cabin crew starts explaining the safety features of the flight. She smiles to herself and opens the novel, “The Twentieth Wife”. She can catch up on the half-read book during the flying time.

The flight reaches its destination after 2 hours of flying. The passengers get off the plane and hurriedly move towards the baggage carousel to pick their checked-in luggage. Meera bumps into Rahul near the exit gate again while waiting for her cab. He smiles at her and she smiles back. He looks at her with an appreciative look which she understands very well. She knows that she looks good. At the same time, she also understands, he had not recognized her. She goes her way to catch her cab which will take her home.

Whenever she recalls her school days, a smile comes to her lips. They were so naive, gullible, and full of life at the same time. That year when this new boy had joined their school, Meera’s life had turned upside down. She remembers herself bowled over by this boy’s charms. He was in a different class than hers. She would find excuses to sneak near his class to have a look at him. After coming back from school, both her and Neetu would be talking about the new boy in their school, giggling together. It was Neetu who had recognized her crush on him for the first time. But being her best friend, Neetu was never going to give away this secret to anybody.

He was in the basketball team of their school and all the girls would go gaga over him. He was aware of all the attention from the other gender and was gleeful about it. She had heard he was equally good in studies. Also, there had been many rumors that he used to date many good-looking girls of their school that time. She used to hope that he would look her way some day and he would find her attractive enough to make her his girlfriend. Once they had enacted in a musical play in school. Kamadeva (Rahul) and Rati (Archana) were dancing and playing wild in their romance. They hear anklets, when they see Parvati (Renu) approaching Shiva (Meera), who was sitting in a corner in deep meditation. Parvati offered flowers to Shiva’s feet and went away but Shiva did not open his eyes. Kamadeva wanted Shiva to open his eyes and look at Parvati, so he shoots an arrow from his bow towards Shiva. Shiva opens his third eye and starts dancing Tandava, Kamadeva catches fire and the dance drama ends with Rati’s sobs. While practicing for the musical, Meera had hoped that Rahul would start noticing her.

The play was enacted on their school Annual day. After the play everyone was enjoying samosas in the school canteen. She heard someone calling her, “Ey Ladki, suno”. Nobody called her, “Ey Ladki”. Everybody knew her name in school. She turned to see who had the audacity to call her by that name and found her puppy love looking at her with frowning brows. She found her courage and told him that her name was Meera. At that he replied that he knew her name and then spoke, “You, spectacled girl, no need to show off your tantrums on me. Go, give this letter to Archana, and tell her that I have sent this”. She had replied, “I am not a messenger”, for which he had replied, “Then what else can you do apart from being a book worm”. Before she could even speak, he had turned on his heels and rushed off to some other corner of the school.

She had felt humiliated and had wept that whole evening after coming back from school. She had thought, she was not a book worm at all. She was good in studies, but she was equally a good singer and dancer of her school. She had won many laurels and brought many prestigious awards for her school in singing and dancing. Neetu had consoled her that evening saying he does not deserve her. She was her best friend and could not see her friend in distress. That encounter had ended her puppy love for him. She had topped her school in tenth and twelfth standards and had left her hometown for her engineering from a prestigious college. Later she had done MBA from an equally prestigious University and had never gotten any chance to remember him. Neetu had also never talked about him after that incident. For both these friends, he was a forgotten chapter.  After around eleven years or so, she had seen him today.

The whole house was abuzz with preparations. Sweets have come from the famous sweet shop of their town. Her eldest brother and sister-in-law with their 6-year-old daughter, Sonia, have also come for this weekend. Her second brother and sister-in-law are expecting their second child so they could not come. Meera was not at all happy with this chaos but did not speak anything to her mother. This was for the first time; some alliance had come from their same town. And whole family was hoping for a fruitful encounter. She heard that the guy is a dentist. She was warned by her mother not to speak anything rude in front of the guests. Her sister-in-law winked at her while helping her drape a heavy Sari from Banaras. Her Bhabhi also helped her apply a light makeup accentuating her cheeks and bright big eyes. She looks at her reflection in the mirror and is satisfied.

A car pulls up in front of the porch of their ancestral house. Her brother and father go to greet the guests at the gate. Her Bhabhi and mother also go to greet them at the door, and she can hear people talking and some laughter in their living room. Her Bhabhi comes to her and gives her a tray loaded with teacups and says, “time for the parade, come” and smiles at Meera. Meera is ready for the ordeal but she does not hear any trumpet announcing her entrance.

She enters the living room with the tray and peers at the audience. Then she sees him again. He was wearing a charcoal colored suit and when he looks at her, he smiles and gives her another appreciative glance. She smiles back but her smile and her eyes narrow down. Both her mother and sister-in-law warns her to behave from distance, she can feel their eyes on her. She is asked to sit in a sofa between her father and Rahul’s mother. She sits and smiles at every one around her. The guy’s mother asks her, “Beta, do you know cooking?”, “We have only one son, we want him to be looked after well after marriage”, “He had been away from home for studies and work for so long now, that we get worried about his eating and all. So, we want someone to look after him and hope he gets good home cooked food after marriage”. And so on. Meera kept her smile intact and made affirmative sounds. Her mother starts speaking, “Meera knows everything about taking good care of a house. She cooks well. You don’t have to worry about anything. She is earning well in her job, but she will definitely take care of the house after marriage.” Meera listened to all the hoopla around her and did not comment on anything. “Let the guy and the girl talk in private. They are grown ups and let them find more about each other”. So, she was rushed into verandah where sitting arrangements were already made for two people. Tea and sweets were brought in here for the two people.

Rahul and Meera sat across each other and were asked to find more about each other. “I had seen you at the airport yesterday. I did not know that I have to come and see you today”. She says, “Yes” and smiles. “I heard that you had gone to the same school where I had studied. I don’t remember seeing you. I would have remembered a beautiful face like yours”, and he winks at her. Meera says with her mischievous smile on her lips, “Well, I remember doing a play with you once in school. I was the Shiva who had scorched the Kamadeva. I guess you were the Kamadeva”. Recognition dawns at him and he exclaims, “Oh my God, you have turned into a beautiful lady”.

The visitors leave their place and the whole family is eating dinner now. Her mother signals her father to speak to Meera. She notices that from the corner of her eyes. She had been dreading this conversation. She looks at her Bhabhi for any signs, but she is busy feeding a fussy eater Sonia. Her father speaks, “Beta, did you like the guy who visited us today”? She turns to look at her father’s face, she hears a different question this time. Earlier he used to ask, “The guy was good, today. What do you think”? She narrows down her eyes at her father, her father continues, “The choice will be yours anyways. But the guy has completed his Bachelor of Dental Surgery and waiting for his post-graduation. He is still not earning properly”. She thinks, “Aahhh, Bullseye”. She looks at her brother, her bother speaks, “I also think, this guy is not good for you. But still the choice will be entirely yours”.  She rolls her eyes and thinks to herself, “Yes, right big brother”. Her mother says, “We saw you were having a good time talking to him. If you still want to go ahead, we have no problem”. “Mummy, of course not. He had gone to the same school where I had studied so we were remembering some old friends. I am sure whatever you decide would be good for me. I am happy with your decision”. Everyone heaves a relieved sigh at the table and they continue eating in a happy relieved mood. This time her sister-in-law narrows down her eyes at her and Meera smiles and winks at her Bhabhi.

To Eat or No to Eat...

She rolled down the windows to sniff at the fresh air of her home town. Those deep fried, round and fluffy breads alongside spicy chickpeas curry were inviting her. Then she found the saffron soaked and sugar syrup coated Jalebis were trying to seduce her out of her resolve. The tempting and tantalizing aromas wafting from the streets drove her crazy and made her weak at knees. Seema closed her eyes and covered her nostrils with her handkerchief and asked the cab driver to hurry her up to her destination.

She was coming home after five years. Those familiar lanes and streets have not changed much and taking her down to trips of nostalgia. She was passing by the bridge over that foul canal. The day she remembered as her most painful day of her lifetime. She had turned sixteen that day and her childhood sweet heart had turned down her proposal for being an ugly duckling. He had called her ‘Kali Kaluti Moti Bhains” – Dark coloured fat buffalo. She could still hear that nerve-shattering laughter of his friends and the other girls. That had a lightning effect on her and a new Seema was born that day.

The cab stopped in front of her house. That gate with a round arch over it with blooming orchids, looked the same. She rings the door bell and waits. She hears hurried steps down the stairs, the door opens and her younger sister gives her a tight hug and yells, “Mummy, Didi is here”. Her mom and dad come running to the hall and they give her a family hug and as usual, Mom starts weeping, “You have come after so many years”.

Seema is a successful model nowadays and works under a world-famous brand. This small town, where she was born into and had grown up, is very proud of her achievements. But she remembers all too well. Her father tells her that tomorrow, the town people have arranged a function at the town hall in her honour, few dignitaries will also come to felicitate her. She looks at her father who was not happy when she had told her she would pursue her modelling career. However, he had come down to her terms with time. When he hears no affirmation from her, he says, “Seema, please be on your best behaviour tomorrow.” She smiles at her father, “Sure, Papa”. And, then her mother drops the bombshell, “Beta, what would you like to eat? Shall I prepare your favourite, Aaloo Paratha?”

She goes to her room. Everything looked the same. She could hear her grandmother scolding her, “Stop eating now. How may pooris will you eat? You have grown so fat. On top of that, you are dark skinned also. God knows, who will marry you?” Her mother would say, “It’s okay, Mummy ji. She is just a child”. At that point, age old prejudice would start. “Don’t you argue with me. You have borne two girls. We will have to arrange for dowry also.  And, how much we may have to pay for this one,  fat dark girl?” Her grandmother is no more but her hurtful jibes still torments Seema.

Once upon a time, she was a happy-go-lucky girl and wanted to become a doctor when she grows up. She was very good in studies. Whenever her results would be out, her grandmother would be distributing sweets to their neighbours in the lane. Nearby aunties would eat the sweets and comment, “Maa ji, what would you do with good grades of your granddaughter? Ask her to lose some weight and apply turmeric to become fairer”.  Hearing that her grandmother would snatch the sweets from Seema’s hands which she had been gobbling and would drag her inside the house and the age-old saga would start again, “This girl would drag me to grave early. Dark skinned fatso, girl, go apply some turmeric paste now” And, her mother and grandmother would prepare one or the other home remedies and pastes to make her skin lighter. She used to hate those foul-smelling pastes all over her face. She used to pray to become fair like her sister someday, so that her grandmother would be happy with her.

Her maternal uncle used to bring those yummy motichoor laddoos and would offer her one, saying, “You take only one, Seema. You will become fatter, otherwise.” She would ask him, “When you knew I like them, why did you bring so many of them?” And, he would laugh and say, “Learn from your younger sister. She is fair and observes restraint also while eating". “But she does not like to eat anything”. And the banter would go on and on.

She hears her mother calling her. “Seema, come down for lunch”. She goes down stairs and looks at the beautifully arranged dining table with all the sumptuous food in front of her. “Mom, you know, I can’t eat all these things. I have to maintain my diet”. “I have made the soup and salad for you. You have come after so many years, so I made this feast for your dad and sister to celebrate your home coming. I will bring you soup and salad now”. Ok, so some things will never change. “But, surely one paratha you can have for once”, her mother somehow remembered that she had cooked Seema’s favourite Aaloo Paratha. Seema smiles at her, “I will have only half”. “Ok, ok, as you wish”.

Next day they arrive at the town hall. It was fully packed. Every other person came to her, greeted her, congratulated her, “We are so proud of you. You have made our small-town famous”. And, then one voice greets her, “Hello Madam ji, I am Arvind, we used to be in the same class in school. I hope you remember me”. She looks at the direction of that voice, “Yes, I remember you. Good to see you here. How are you? It seems your tummy has out grown you”. “Ha ha, Madam ji, you have good sense of humour”.

She was in sixth standard when, Arvind, the son of the famous sweet shop owner of their town, joined their school. He used to wear fancy watches and used to come to school in fancy bicycles of that time. Every one used to think he was some Greek God and girls used to go gaga over him. Seema was no different. They were in the same class and she used to dream that Arvind will look her way some day. But she was scared he would not like her dark face. She started taking interest in her mother’s and grandmother’s efforts to make her fair. She bought so many tubes of the famous “Fair & Lovely” cream and waited for days, weeks and months in front of the mirror to see the difference it had promised to make her face brighter, with no results. One day she had stopped eating altogether and thought she would drink only water for some weeks so that she becomes thinner but that same day in the evening, her uncle came with the motichoor laddoos. She had decided then that first she will concentrate on making herself fair then she would focus on thinning down.

She was not able to sleep that night. She was turning around in her bed. Her mother came to her room and observed, “Maybe you have become overwhelmed with all the attention today from the town dwellers. I hope you have not upset your stomach with all those sweets there. Drink some water and sleep will come eventually”. Seema thought to herself, she had not touched any of the sweets that were offered today. Her mother keeps forgetting that Seema keeps a strict diet and maintains it. But that reminded her how those Gulab Jamuns, Burfis, Gujiyas, etc. had played with her emotions today but could not win over her determination though.

She had worked very hard to reach where she is today. That embarrassing day when she had thought her heart was shattered into pieces, it was actually a blow to her pride. She had made a resolution and her determination had kept her going all these days. She had lost her weight and had maintained a good balanced diet thereafter. She had worked on her body and mind and had healed her soul. Her skin colour had not come against her modelling career, however. From the day of her sixteenth birthday to the day she had won the Miss India pageant at the age of twenty, it was a rigorous struggle and she had overcome all the barriers with her will power. Then she had left her home town and since last five years, had been pursuing her modelling career. She has travelled far and wide. She is contented and happy with herself. But still there are some days, when she feels weak and a dilemma haunts her, “To eat or not to eat”.

Mix and Match Affairs (Within Wedlock)

            Two weeks back, my office colleague, Sheila, had asked me if I could design and bake a cake for her upcoming eighth wedding anniversary. She had seen the photos of cakes on my Facebook page and she loved all my photos. Yes, you can imagine my smile from one ear to the other. I was truly honored and went surely to the moon and back, hearing that. However J, yes, yes, inside the double quotes, I told her that I don’t do baking as a business but since it’s my passion, I do it only for the family. She insisted that I make a cake for her special occasion as this also marked fifteen years of their companionship, seven years of courtship and eight years of holy matrimony. She wanted it to be a surprise for her husband and did not want it to be store bought and did not want to include home bakers as well. She said she would be personally lending me a helping hand. I reluctantly agreed to it as she is a good friend of mine and I am a diehard fan of such mushy-mushy kind of love stories, you will know what I mean by reading the next paragraph. Well, since that day, we started on our project. Every tea time, lunch, water breaks, etc. we spent together discussing on the theme and I started placing orders for the ingredients through Amazon. Am always content in the baking projects. J

            Ashok and Sheila had been married for eight years now with a cute little 4-year-old daughter, Kaira. They had been in a long distance relationship for seven years before marriage, and theirs was not an easy love story. They had to do a lot of persuasion and convincing before their parents agreed for their match. It was their determination and standing together through thick and thin, which finally paid off and convinced their families to accept their matrimony whole heartedly. So, the cake design and theme was decided to show case each phase of their life, starting from courtship, marriage, parenthood and one more special touch. It had been Sheila’s dream to walk hand in hand with Ashok atop Brooklyn bridge and Ashok dropping on his knees and proposing her with a red rose. She had discussed this with him n number of times by now. Ashok teases her also like, Brooklyn bridge would fall down under her weight. I hope you can understand by now my enthusiasm and excitement to work on this project. The first week passed very quickly with a design in hand and placing order for the ingredients. And, we had a plan ready to execute it within the next two weeks.

            That weekend I was all thrilled explaining about my baking project to my husband and nagging him on how outsiders appreciate my talent whereas at home I had no value. And as usual, my husband was as amused as he always is with my banter. So, Monday I reach office with all starry eyed. I reach my cubicle and see a ghost like person sitting next to my desk with dark, sunken and hollow eyes. I was horrified to see Sheila like this. She started crying like a baby when she saw me. Each pair of eyes and ears started poking into my cubicle from the neighborhood. In offices like ours, there is no place to play hide and seek. I reminded her about our surroundings and asked her to come inside a meeting room. Every pair of eyes followed us till I shut the door of that conference room. I asked, “Ok, now, tell me, what has happened? Why are you crying like this?” She sobbed once again and told, “Nomi, everything is finished. Ashok is cheating on me. He is already planning to leave me and elope with his girlfriend”. “What, nonsense, are you talking about?”

            She replied, “Ashok is having an affair with someone named Meena, who runs a travel agency. He has even secretly planned to elope with her somewhere”. That was a real shocker. How did this happen within a span of two days? With a bewildered expression, I asked, "And, how did you find this out?" She snuffled but continued, “While cleaning his desk, I found some itinerary with his name on it. Suddenly he came and snatched them from me. I asked if he is planning to go somewhere. He answered it as none of my business. That day onwards I started noticing the changes in him”.

"You might have misunderstood”. She continued, “I did not notice it initially. How could I? I could never have imagined him cheating on me. Since last three to four weeks, he is coming very late from office. I had thought he had been busy in office and he is absent minded during the weekends also. He forgot about Kaira’s PTM also this Saturday. When I reminded him, he told me he had a meeting. While coming back from her school, I had visited this café. I saw him coming out of the mall opposite to the café with his girlfriend myself, laughing and carrying all her shopping bags. He never carries my shopping bags and tells me if I carry them myself, I will lose some weight. So, it seems he is leaving me for being overweight. I can’t believe this. I want to die, I cannot live without him”. And, again my friend went back to her uncontrollable sobs.

            The whole week went by with her sobbing and my tries to calm her down in vain. I had never felt so helpless. How do you console a person in such a pain. I also can’t imagine my husband cheating on me. Day after day it seemed like Sheila was aging twice as faster and those dark circles under her eyes used to tell me about her sleeplessness the night before. She could not understand how her Ashok could cheat on her like that. She could never have imagined her Ashok having an affair. How would she explain this to Kaira, once Ashok leaves them? Her whole world was coming down and her heart wrenching sobs were uncontrollable. I did not know how to make it right for her.

I reached office a little late today. I only know how I got ready and dragged myself to office on a Monday morning. When I reached my cubicle, I saw Sheila sitting on a chair near my desk with a lost expression. She lifted her head on seeing me. My heart skipped a beat looking at her red swollen eyes. She had been crying for sure and I presumed the inevitable might have happened. I was thinking what would I say to her. I slowly asked her, “How are you? What happened?”

This last Saturday, my dear friend, Sheila, lost all her patience and when her husband was not looking, she took the number of the other lady, Meena, and dialed her number to confront her. Not only that, Sheila, also went to meet her husband’s lady friend secretly on Sunday afternoon when Meena made her aware of the real reason of Ashok’s secret affair. He had been seeking Meena’s help to plan a surprise vacation to New York and a visit to Brooklyn bridge, as a gift for his eight-year-old wife and fifteen-year-old best friend.

Now she is in front of me sitting in that so called ergonomic chair of our office with her bowed head and regretful eyes. She says she is dying of guilt for doubting her husband. She asks me, “I am so stupid and it’s so embarrassing. Meena is a good friend of Ashok and she might have shared with him about what happened yesterday. What shall I do now?”

This whole last week had been a nightmare for me as well. I had been tormented and deeply saddened by these turn of events in my friend’s life. Most of the time, I would be thinking about her and hoping that Sheila does not take any harsh steps to harm herself. I had been cursing all these two timing kind of husbands, and had given that piece of my mind to my dear own husband as well once or twice. So, at this point of time I am sorely tempted to throttle that slender neck (Sheila’s of course) with my bare hands. “Well that’s a relief, of course, Sheila. I guess Ashok will laugh it off when you tell him what you went through last week. Now let’s not waste more time and get back to our baking project. We have only this week to get it ready.” But trust me guys, I was really tempted to say, “It would be good if he does not talk to you this whole week”.