Breaking the Marriage Vows

Radha is watching the kids playing in the park near her apartment through her balcony. She is deep into her thoughts. She is agonizing over her broken marriage and trying hard to comprehend the enigma of her broken relationship.  Radha is unable to understand what went wrong. Theirs was a marriage which was solemnized with utmost care between two prominent Brahmin families. Their horoscopes were also matched and they were told that theirs was an excellent match as 32 out of 36 gunas were compatible. She bore him two children and had a marriage like any other couple of their age for the last nineteen years.

There were problems but she had always believed between Narayan and her, they would be able to manage. Narayan had mentioned he was not happy in their marriage, neither was she. But for the sake of her children, she had thought they would pull it through. She was hurt when Narayan had told her about his relationship with another woman. She had quarreled with him and had threatened him that she would take away his children from him. But she had understood that there was no point continuing a relationship when he had made up his mind.   So, when Narayan had announced his decision of getting a divorce and remarry, she had agreed. One year has passed by. Their divorce proceedings are going on.

It was not easy to make her daughters understand in the beginning. Nishi was only eleven and Vidhi was a difficult teenager, sixteen years old. They had gone abroad when Nishi was just one year old and Vidhi was six. They had come back to India two years back. Both girls were brought up in a foreign land with western influence and they were familiar with broken marriages, divorces, broken families, etc. But still anybody can understand that they were heartbroken. Their ideal family is also not perfect after all.

Nishi and Vidhi vehemently opposed their parents’ decision of getting a divorce. Both had become hostile.  Vidhi wanted to run away and Nishi had turned hysterical about the whole idea. Radha managed to bring equilibrium somehow with help from counsellors. Nishi and Vidhi finally came to terms with the whole situation but with reservations.  Radha knows that Vidhi still blames her for their broken family.

Narayan doesn’t want the custody of their daughters but would like to have visitation rights. His fiancée doesn’t want children but is okay with Nishi and Vidhi spending time with their father. So, Narayan has taken the girls to meet his fiancée today. Radha still doesn’t want to know her or call her name. She knows that she has to meet her sometime. Their divorce would be final by next month and Narayan would remarry by December. Radha has to find her composure by that time. She has to be there for her daughters.

Radha is unable to come to terms with her surroundings and her conservative relatives also who were blaming her for their failed marriage. She doesn’t understand why they were incapable of seeing that Narayan is involved in adultery not her.  Her mother-in-law had been unhappy with her as Narayan was her only son and Radha could not bear her a grandson. Then why is she okay with the idea that Narayan’s new fiancée doesn’t want to have children of her own? Her mother-in-law had blamed her for improper upbringing of her daughters when Vidhi had announced she has a boyfriend. But now she is ready to welcome her new daughter-in-law who is from a different caste and religion altogether.

What could Radha say about her own parents? Her parents and brother had asked her, “Why don’t you try to save your own marriage”? When she replied that she did whatever she could, she was blamed for not trying harder. They are still sulking.

Radha wished she could turn back the clock and could refuse getting married to Narayan. However, she loves Vidhi and Nishi and they are the best part of her marriage with Narayan, still she wants them to disappear. She wants to be free. But she knows that she would not be allowed to do so, she would be blamed for being selfish.

A loud cry jolts her back from her thoughts. She turns to find out that a boy has shoved a girl for not passing the ball to him. In a jiffy the girl gets up, hits him back and shouts, “Do not push me. You will get the ball when it’s your turn”. A smile touches Radha’s lips. She spots a lady scolding her daughter, “Tanu, share your cycle with your younger brother”, to which the girl replies, “I don’t want to and I won’t”.  Radha flinches at the blunt reply. She hears the giggles of a toddler playing with a puppy and heaves a deep sigh. The girls will be back for dinner, so it's time for her to head to the kitchen.