How to start a conversation?

Well, I am not going to run you through some boring preaching’s, even if the name suggests. Sometimes a title can be pretty confusing, or rather misleading. Start imagining, you are in the 80’s and a guy working in some Government office goes to see a chosen alliance by one of his aunt(s), uncle(s) or his parents. At the prospective bride’s place, respective parents are talking and the guy is looking about the place in silence. The girl comes with a laden tray in her hands, no sound coming from the audience except the sound of cup and saucers quarreling with each other. She is asked to take a seat just opposite to the guy’s. Both had never seen each other  till then and are now going to be tied to each other for the rest of their lives. But they do not speak to each other, maybe just a little peak at each other. But later, they not only get married to each other, live happily ever after with bumps and burps of course. And now, they not only speak to each other, but quarrel often. Somewhere, somehow that conversation had started. As well said by geniuses, a spark neglected burns the house. No offense or pun intended, please. This was just a figment of my imagination.

Now is the era of electronics, fancy gadgets, and hi-fi technologies. People talk whole night on phone, and sometimes over the internet face to face. Tech savvy people of today can start a conversation easily. You might have also heard about people getting married over the internet. Sometime back I had read that someone got divorced too over the web. Amazing, isn’t it?

The other day, I was travelling by bus and there were these two guys sitting opposite to me. One was, I believe, a student waiting to jump into the corporate world and the other was working in some IT giant from last three or four years. The student who had bought a jacket from some sale was trying it. The working guy first asked the other what was the price, where did he buy that. I guessed the working guy was also searching for the same jacket from quite some time. The other guy showed him the price tag and then the conversation began. They talked about job market, mobile gadgets they were using, and also exchanged their numbers within those 15 minutes and they were now friends from long time. And to our surprise, people used to say only women can talk non-stop with anybody and everybody.

Next day I was waiting at the bus stop waiting for my favorite Volvo bus to my office. A lady comes near me and asks if the 8.30 AM bus has left already. I remember seeing that lady. We usually travel by the same bus, same time. Usually, I doze off with my headphones in my ears the whole route to office. I smiled at the lady and politely said that the bus is yet to come. I realized that it would be impolite not to have a little chit chat with the lady. I asked her if she stays nearby. Well, she stays near our apartments, she works in a bank, she has a three year old son, and she showed me his photograph in her cell phone, her husband’s office is nearby, her brother is studying medicine from some college in Kanpur, and her brother in law is in US since last eight years. She gave me her visiting card. I patiently exchanged my visiting card. She asked me where I had done my engineering from, I politely said Motilal Nehru National Institute of Technology, Allahabad. Well, then she told me that it was earlier known as REC, Allahabad (as if I didn’t know that) and her father in law had done engineering from the same college where my husband and I had studied a few years back. I just hoped that her father in law is not from the same batch. Suddenly I realized that I also know that she has one woman who comes to look after her son when he comes back from his play school and there is a guy who comes to cook for the family. After that I put on my headphones and pretended to sleep.

I remember a guy I used to meet every day while waiting for the office bus, a few years back in New Delhi. We were in the same office but used to work for different departments. Initially, we used to exchange smiles and didn’t even know each other’s names. One fine morning, I realized that the guy didn’t reciprocate my smile. He was looking very pale and seemed upset about something. I just asked, what happened, are you alright? And he burst out crying. At first, I got scared that I had hurt him asking that simple question. I was seriously horrified to see a 6 feet tall man crying on the streets. I offered him my water bottle and was unable to speak anything. He said sorry and took a sip from my water bottle. And then silence. I was cursing the driver who had not arrived with the bus and today of all days, he had to come late. Suddenly I heard a voice speaking, “Two days later, is Raksha Bandhan, and my sister is no more”. I turned back and stupidly asked, how? I saw some tears were going to spill over from his eyes again. I wanted to slap myself at that point. He looked straight into my eyes and said his sister had blood cancer and had passed away two years back. I could only say, sorry. He just sighed. And our office bus finally arrived. We got into the bus. I was disturbed the whole day. Next day, the guy didn’t even look at me. Then the next day was Raksha Bandhan, and I thought the guy might not come. But he came and gave me a half smile. I asked him if he is alright. He gave me another half smile. I said he could have stayed home. He replied life has to go on. I don’t know what came over me; I asked him if I could tie him a rakhi. I still remember his face; it lit up with thousands of bulbs. I have shifted to another city now but we still keep in touch and my rakhi brother is no less than a real brother (a real bully, I mean :P).

Have I deviated from my topic? I was not going to make you emotional. I just wanted to tell you how complete strangers become bosom friends (or some people might turn into enemies) with a mere conversation. Take the example of those kids going to school for the first day. Many of them teary to leave their parents’ care as if they are going to some war. Some kid might not cry initially but after looking at the other kids he/she might join in. And some would be mischievous enough to try new things at school. After some days, they will find their partners in crime and even after reaching home, they will talk non-stop about his/her friend in school.

I guess, a smile, an occasional how are you, maybe a little chit chat can bring complete strangers together. There is no art involved in starting a conversation. In our busy lives, we are fortunate enough to know so many wonderful people that too in such a short life span. The people we meet almost every day, maybe the conductor and the driver of the bus in which we travel daily, the fruit seller and vegetable vendor from whom we buy vegetables and fruits almost every other day, the pizza delivery boy, the office peon, the canteen man, even the occasional annoying Auto driver of our area, all make our life lively. Let’s talk to them and see how interesting the life can be.